The weird and wacky world of USB gadgets
Nowadays if you can build something that needs power, chances are there%26#39;s a USB version out there. And chances are someone will want to buy it.
Over the past year regular readers will have seen USB-powered heated gloves, robotic hamsters, rubber-ducky mice and the ever-popular pole dancer.
Here are the pick of this year%26#39;s crop of bizarre USB gadgets currently burning up the virtual tills of online shores.
The products on the page are all from overseas sites (though if you look around you may be able to find them closer to home) and prices don%26#39;t include shipping.
Speed demonHow fast can you type? The touch-typists around your office probably think they%26#39;re all that while tinkering the plastic. Admit it, you%26#39;ve hidden a smile while the person next to you has tried to find, hunt-and-peck style, where the backslash is. The USB WPM Speedometer shows you exactly how fast you%26#39;re going in words-per-minute, with its car-speedometer like needle. Distracting, but fun to rev up. And the backslash () is under the backspace key. $50 from www.drinkstuff.com
Green upMost people want to be nice to the environment, but gadget users have trouble putting their money with their mouths are. Most gadgets are power suckers, slurping electricity even when they%26#39;re sitting around doing nothing, sometimes even when they%26#39;re turned off. This USB Eco-button will help you green up your PC habits a bit without doing much at all. Tap on the face of this little gadget and your PC (Windows only) goes into energy-saving Standby mode. It even comes with software to tell you how much energy you%26#39;ve saved, and how much carbon. Whether you save enough to power the thing (it%26#39;s illuminated) depends on how often you use it, I guess. $38 from www.eco-button.com
Disco infernoIf you%26#39;ve walked through a video arcade in the past 10 years, you%26#39;ll have noticed a game called Dance Dance Revolution, where you get points for doing the dance moves on the screen. The USB Dance Mat is a finger version of this. Touch the four pads as they light up and you%26#39;ll light up the finger-sized dancefloor. Cut-out disco diva puppet included (your fingers are the legs). About $22 from www.gadgetshop.com
Punching headWouldn%26#39;t you love to beat someone up? C%26#39;mon, admit it. Because unless you%26#39;re a Buddhist monk or Ghandi%26#39;s twin brother, there must be someone out there who really gets under your skin. This fist-size gadget could be just the thing to let out your frustration. The Punch Head lets out yelps of pain when you hit it, but better still you can load a photo of your favourite enemy onto your PC and watch the face distort as knock the gadget around. You won%26#39;t get closer to the real thing. Great stress release, but don%26#39;t let your friend/boss/partner see their face on it. Available soon from www.punch-head.com
BoxingOf all the USB gadgets I%26#39;ve come across online, this is probably the most useless. Punching a boxing bag is great exercise, building muscle and letting off steam and all that, but beyond that there%26#39;s not much point. I mean, it%26#39;s not fun or anything. So why make a USB toy where you tap the keyboard to make a boxer punch a bag? Ok, you get a score based on your %26quot;skills and rhythm%26quot;, and it makes boxing ring noises. But you%26#39;re still just punching a bag. And it%26#39;s not even real. $75 from www.gadgetshop.com
Oi!The USB Bouncer isn%26#39;t really intimidating, at least not compared with a real bouncer, but it may scare people away from your computer if they%26#39;re under the age of 6. The idea is good enough. Plug him in before you walk away and he%26#39;ll keep a sharp eye out for any troublemakers looking to use your computer. When he sees someone he shouts %26quot;You%26#39;re cruising for a bruising!%26quot; or something similarly threatening, and then I suppose keeps shouting it until that someone unplugs him. It%26#39;s worth pointing out to that he%26#39;ll also shout the same things at you when you comes back. For novelty purposes only. $75 from www.gadgetshop.com
Mini golfGolf nuts think about golf a lot, so much so it%26#39;s usually hard to get them to think or talk about anything else. Chances are the golf nut in your life thinks about their putting, the most maddening of all the golf strokes - so simple, but so difficult. This USB Putter Returner won%26#39;t help them putt any better - all it does it push the little balls back after you knock them in - but it may stop them telling everyone else about their latest round. Of course, if they%26#39;re a real golf nut, it%26#39;ll just remind them they%26#39;d rather be out golfing than in their office reading the latest report from accounting, but it%26#39;s the thought that counts. $25 from www.gadgetshop.com
Lounging lizardsThe USB Chameleon is reptilian friend for your computer monitor. Sit him on top of your monitor, plug him in, and he%26#39;ll randomly move his eyes about and stick his tongue out. Not really useful as much as distracting, but it might make that person who%26#39;s trying to palm off their work to you forget why they%26#39;re at your desk, at least the first time they see it. It doesn%26#39;t do what chameleons are best known for though - changing colour. $38 from www.iwantoneofthose.com
Arms raceLast year we mentioned the USB rocket launcher. In those innocent times its nerf missiles was sure to strike fear into the hearts of your co-workers. By now I expect it%26#39;s caught on and these weapons have proliferated around some unlucky offices as lowly employees fight to keep the stapler on their desk. The next generation has now arrived, and it%26#39;s got a webcam, so you can use it through MSN Messenger. You just have to think of a way to get your enemies to buy one no. I just hope Iran hasn%26#39;t heard about them. Mouse controlled, Windows only. $62 from usb.brando.com.hk
Mix it upAlarm clocks are in everything nowadays, from ipods to microwaves. This is the first time I%26#39;ve seen one in a blender, though. And a USB-powered blender at that. But wait, there%26#39;s more. While the USB Blender Alarm Clock purees your breakfast it also plays one of four 1970s game show jingles. Useful if you like to mash up food next to your computer while listening to bad music. $31 from usb.brando.com.hk
Keeping your secretsThe USB Panic Button is the slacker%26#39;s best friend. If you%26#39;re at work chances are you%26#39;d rather be doing something else, and sometimes you are, whether it%26#39;s updating your MySpace profile or reading Stuff. But wait, who%26#39;s this coming your way? It%26#39;s the boss, and he%26#39;s wondering about that report you%26#39;re %26quot;working%26quot; on. No fear though. Just slam the button and you can bring up a worky-looking spreadsheet or flow-chart, or even make your own that loads up. Explaining why you have a big red button on your desk though, is your own problem. $30 from www.latestbuy.com.au
Totally whackWhack-a-mole isn%26#39;t everyone cup of tea. Something about trying to hit plastic animals with a rubber mallet seems a little, well, silly to a lot of people. This little USB Whack It ditches the moles, and the mallet and leaves you with different coloured little men that you have to hit when they light up. It%26#39;s not going to change the world, but it%26#39;s cute and colourful enough to keep kids from touching your keyboard and accidentally deleting your desktop shortcuts. $30 from www.gizoo.co.uk
Heel! Searching for a way to let your computer know what it%26#39;s like to have a dog being overly amorous with your leg? A strange question certainly, but someone out there apparently thought it was a good idea to make a USB memory stick that did just that. Plug it in and pull some data off the stick and watch the dog, um, leap into action. Just tell the kids it%26#39;s dancing. More funny than disgusting and more bizarre than funny, but it%26#39;s definitely not something you%26#39;d want grandma to see in action. See a video of it in action here. $12 from www.thinkgeek.com
