No one’s too young for a play

Sunday, May 11th, 2008

At Assitej, the 16th World Congress and Performing Arts Festival for Young People taking place in Adelaide, visiting companies include the Makhampon Theatre Group from Thailand, which is happy to hear itself described as a form of family, community, university and even food centre. They are performing a Buddhist tale about perseverance. Australian group Zeal Theatre, is collaborating with the South African performers Ellis and Bheki to create a comic show about nationalism and sport.

From Israel, “this crazy country”, as director Norman Issa calls it, comes the Arab-Hebrew Theatre of Jaffa, which, as its name suggests, is determined to defy that country’s political divide.

“We’re not the Christian-Jewish theatre company, or the Muslim-Jewish,” Issa says. “We deal in languages, not religions. We’re a very new idea and the only theatre working like this in Israel, and while we don’t have many sponsors, and are very small, people love this place. We have many friends.”

Issa’s Arab-Hebrew Theatre of Jaffa has brought a two-hander called Ach Ach Boom Traach to Adelaide for the Assitej festival. He co-wrote the hour-long piece with Yoav Barlev and both men perform in it. The fact that he is Jewish and Barlev a Muslim, Issa says, is not the issue (although that’s one of the first things he says about the play). The issue is how any two people, whose languages distance them from each other, can find common ground.

The production is pitched at children as young as three, but it’s also suitable for people in their late teens, the top-end of the age spectrum covered in Assitej’s broad program. Issa reckons it’s for everyone. “This play is very simple, and very difficult,” he says. “Everyone finds their own level within this play.”

Its premise is that the two actors represent brothers who play together, quarrel, then make up, and quarrel again. “The balance of power swings back and forth.”

As their history unfolds in scenes spoken in what sounds to the audience like jibberish (Issa says it’s the “language of Jesus”, Aramaic), one thing remains constant: a prettily coloured box that dangles enticingly above their heads. This appears to be the prize they constantly fight over, as their bitter feuding becomes ever more violent and hurtful. Finally, when they have “settled down to an uneasy truce, the box opens up by itself”. Ach Ach Boom Traach poses the question to the audience: “What are the brothers fighting for?”

Issa is unapologetic when he calls his theatre political, even though he has his critics because of that. “Most people here (in Israel) don’t like political stories, they look, maybe make a noise about the political situation, and then nothing happens. Most people here, they look, and do nothing.”

That’s why he believes children are the hope for the future and theatre for children is his way of turning this hope into action.

“I love children,” he says. “If we can change children, maybe we can reach out for peace. These children in the Jewish community, many years on they will become soldiers and maybe they will be different people because of what they’ve seen. I believe in that. This is my fighting, here in this crazy country.”

The company is in its 12th year, and Ach Ach Boom Traach has been in development for several years, already touring to a long list of countries, including Uzbekistan, Armenia, South Korea and Japan. “It’s very interesting,” Issa says, “that children all over the world react at the same moments during the play. It’s amazing. The inner child is a child wherever you go.”

The key to touching that inner child is to make the experience live, and Issa is animated in his denunciation of the kind of education children are receiving by way of television.

“It has to be live,” he says. “The theatre is life itself, and you can smell it, the actors, the props. It’s not in a box, in your salon (lounge room). In the theatre, the magic is that you see the story happening now, right before you, not edited so you only see the best takes.”

He describes what happens to people who lose touch with the theatre, those who sit in front of the TV screen with a beer and a sandwich as a process of “becoming heavy”, physically and mentally. Issa’s Arab-Hebrew Theatre of Jaffa uses a minimalist set, lots of brightly coloured props, and the energies of its two actors to capture the attention and imagination of its audiences.

According to a growing number of specialists in theatre for children, there is no reason to draw the line there: performances can be directed effectively to babes in arms.

In the Assitej festival, the highly respected Adelaide company, Windmill, has two shows, Cat and Green Sheep, both directed by Cate Fowler, which are pitched to audience members as young as one, but according to Suzanne Oster, theatre can be effective for even younger babies.

Oster is the artistic director of Unga Klara, a division within the Stockholm City Theatre created in 1975 to cater for children and young people. She is attending the Assitej congress, with the support of PlayWriting Australia, to talk about just how young an audience theatre can, and should, target.

The ideal audience, she says, is, in fact, a baby: “Present. Here and now. Not concerned with what it’s having for dinner, doing tomorrow or said yesterday. Free from conventions. Hasn’t read the reviews. Receptive without bias or prejudice.”

Oster’s showcase production, which is not part of the festival but which she will be discussing with delegates at the congress, is Babydrama, designed to present to children as young as six months.

It tells the story of the journey from conception to birth, through to the moment of “meeting their parents and their own will”.

“As far as we know,” Oster says, “text-based performances of this calibre have not been done for such young audiences,” although a Norwegian project has been evaluating the success of dance, mime and puppet theatre for babies from birth to three years old.

That evaluation was so positive, Oster says, there is now a project called Glitterbird, involving the collaboration of several European countries, developing theatre for the newly born. “The more elaborate the productions were, the more alert, concentrated and carefree the child seemed to be.”

Unga Klara works with test audiences, and documents the reactions on film, in order to build knowledge about what works best.

“The fact that one cannot speak,” Oster says, “does not mean that one cannot understand what is said. Experience has shown that the capacity for understanding and assessing situations is present at a very early age. Creating full-scale theatre to the youngest children with all our know-how and passion is a cultural policy statement.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related posts

Classical fans unite calendar Find Cate Brother

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

Esquimalt Earth Day: Saturday, April 19 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Find Cate Blanchette at the Esquimalt Recreation Centre, 527 Fraser St. Check out our community displays, fun activities for kids, and great ideas about how to live sustainably. Victoria Earth Walk and rally starts at noon from Centennial Square to legislature.

Victoria Community Health Co-operative: community health forum April 19 from 1-4 p.m. at the Victoria West YMCA, 521 Craigflower Rd. Learn about a new model of health care, community wellness, and integrative, interdisciplinary healing. Enjoy music, refreshments, fun, and conversation.

Toastmasters International Speech Contest: Saturday, April 19. Doors open at 5 at Victoria Marriott, 728 Humboldt St. $10 in advance, $12 at the door. Keynote Speaker Jody Paterson. Education Sessions Featuring Val Lindal. http://www.victoriatoastmasters.org or 361-4360.

World Federalist Movement: Victoria chapter AGM and guest speaker Prof. Jim Harding, who will speak on Deepening Democracy; Building Global Justice from the Bottom Up, Sat. April 19, from 1:30-4:30 p.m. at St. Aidan’s Church.

Eckankar Canada: presents, Past Lives, Dreams and Soul Travel seminar. Free to newcomers. Saturday, April 19, Ambrosia Centre, 638 Fisgard St., 1-5 p.m., 475-6789. Light refreshments afterwards.

Gordon Head Garden Club: Annual plant sale, Sat. April 19 from 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at Gordon Head United Church hall, 4201 Tyndall Ave. Good selection of plants grown by members at fantastic prices.

P.A.T.S., Pacific Animal Therapy Society: 20th anniversary celebration Sunday, April 20, 1-4 p.m. at Queen Alexandra Centre, 2400 Arbutus Rd. All members, vets, facility people over the past 20 years are invited to come and enjoy the memories. Call 656-6895 or e-mail patspets@shaw.ca

Spring into stories: The Victoria Storytellers’ Guild welcomes you to its monthly storytelling evening on Monday, April 21 at 7:15 p.m., 1831 Fern St. (park on Begbie Street). Everyone welcome. Admission is $5 and includes tea and goodies. For more info: 477-7044.

Secular Humanistic Passover Seder: Victoria Society for Humanistic Judaism invites the community to celebrate the third night of Passover on Monday, April 21 at 5:30 p.m., with a traditional catered Passover dinner, Find Cate Blanchette a non-traditional humanistic haggadah that is rich in Hebrew, Yiddish and English readings and traditional and original music. For reservations call Freda Knott at 381-5120.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Related posts

Book Review: Jonathan Cook’s ”Israel and the Clash of Civilisations”

Saturday, February 16th, 2008


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related posts

The Breaking of the Gaza Wall

Monday, January 28th, 2008

by Allan Nairn

(Counter Punch)

The breaking of the Gaza-Egypt wall is clearly a good thing, and a rare example of the moral — and also wise — use of violence in politics. (For the logic and effects of the Israeli cordon of Gaza see posting of December 7, 2007, Imposed Hunger in Gaza, The Army in Indonesia. Questions of Logic and Activism).

Most all political violence consists of clear wrongs , like murder or unjustified war, but sometimes, sadly, disgustingly, some violence is justified as a last resort, and sometimes — as a subcategory of that — some of that justified violence is also wise, tactically.

Once you get far outside the murder and the crimes of war and those against humanity, some of the choices regarding whether or not to use some violence can be legitimately tough and debatable.

But the Gaza wall-breaking was an easy call: no people were killed, some may have been saved, and the spectacle of an exodus into Egypt effectively dramatized a gross injustice.

It’s ironic that this was apparently done — its not yet clear from what level — by or with some Hamas people, since that’s a movement that has, in its bombings of Israeli civilians, been immoral, criminal, and tactically stupid, turning the oppressed into oppressors, in many eyes, and turning some victims into actual murderers.

But this use of violence — against mere bricks in a wall — was right and a stroke of genius. The legend of all-knowing Israeli intelligence notwithstanding, some of the IDF (Israel Defense Forces)/ Shin Bet/ Mossad/ Cabinet killers must have been stunned, and temporarily shaken.

This was, after all, the first big, smart Palestinian move since the David and Goliath stone intifada, which pitted mere stone-throwing teenagers against Israeli tanks and body-armored soldiers, and exposed the Occupation, twenty years ago, putting Israel’s regime on the defensive. (Not that it lasted long enough to produce results. The Peace Laureates Rabin and Arafat killed it; Rabin with knee-breaking — force, might, and beatings was his order, which, for a while, made Israel look still worse, but then Arafat shut the teen Davids down since they were winning without his approval).

The poor Washington Post was clearly stunned and shaken by this wall breach in Gaza.

They were reduced to accusing Hamas of exploit[ing] [Israel's] temporary shutdown of fuel supplies — i.e. by telling people about it (aren’t newspapers supposed to encourage that?), and were cornered into the unfortunate position — if one accepts their logic — of seeming to support the denial of rights to Darfur refugees. (As thousands stream across the border to Egypt, Hamas blockades the peace process, The Washington Post, January 24, 2008).

The Post asked rhetorically: Would Mr. Mubarak allow tens of thousands of Darfur refugees to illegally enter Egypt from Sudan, where a real humanitarian crisis is underway?, the expected answer from the reader being a realistic, shameful (for Mubarak) No, and then demanded that Mubarak apply exactly that shameful standard by likewise barring uninvited Gazans.

So in order to keep the Palestinians out (or, more precisely, keep them cooped-in), you seem willing to bar the Darfuris too?

When you reach for arguments like that, it’s a sign that your side’s case is in trouble.

So what would happen if some Palestinians decided to break the West Bank wall, too? Say, tens of thousands of teens one morning, at dawn, turning up with picks and crowbars?

Would the IDF destroy people to save concrete?

Quite possibly.

They feel entitled.

As then–Justice Minister Haim Ramon put it, we have the right to destroy everything (Gideon Levy, Little Ahmadinejads, Haaretz, 10/06/2007), and though he was talking about Lebanon ‘06 (Final rough tallies: 1,000 Lebanese civilians killed, 40 Israeli civilians, and 4 million mainly-US cluster bomblets scattered by IDF in southern Lebanon) he could have been articulating the broad moral/criminal law philosophy of today’s Israeli/US establishments, and — when it comes to Israel — much of today’s Israeli/US society.

But if they did, if they opened fire, Israel-Palestine history would begin anew, and though many Palestinians would die, as usual, this time they might not die in vain, since many in the world — including the US — would see who’s oppressing whom.

Incidentally, Israel’s leading newspaper, Haaretz, recently carried an airtight critique of the security rationale behind the vast complex of barriers that seal-in West Bank villages — a complex of which the wall is only the final, tallest, manifestation.

The stated reasons for these barriers, that divert and slow Palestinians, making them fade and die in ambulances, is that they keep suicide/homicide bombers from attacking, in-and-of-itself, a good objective.

But Haaretz reporters found that, incredibly, 475 of 572 roadblocks were unmanned, and then posed the logically clinching questions: What? Suicide bombers can’t get through here? They’re not willing to step over the unmanned barriers that stop ordinary people (and ambulances)?

The Haaretz analyst reached the reasonable conclusion that the sealing-in has a different function:

Is it seriously contended by anyone that a mound of earth, a ditch or a series of concrete blocks can stop terrorists from moving around? Do these barriers serve any function other than embittering the lives of the Palestinians? The sick and the elderly, pregnant women and people carrying shopping baskets undoubtedly find it more difficult to get in and out of their barricaded towns and villages. Indeed both B’Tselem and the organization Physicians for Human Rights have documented cases of sick people being unable to receive treatment because they couldn’t reach their doctors or clinics–while anybody planning a terrorist attack can easily clamber over the mounds, traverse the ditches or circumvent the blocks…

Nobody I’ve spoken with, continued the writer, Daniel Gavron, has a convincing military explanation for the unmanned roadblocks. In fact, people familiar with Israeli military thinking have convinced me that the main object of these barriers is to fragment the territory, effectively preempting the ‘contiguous Palestinian state’ recently touted by U.S. President George Bush. Nothing I have heard has convinced me that the unmanned roadblocks increase the security of Israelis in Israel, or even of the Jewish settlers in the territories. (Daniel Gavron, Start with the unmanned roadblocks!, Haaretz, December 23, 2007, which also refers to earlier Haaretz reporting ).

And as the veteran Israeli correspondent Amira Hass points out, there seem to be other, non-barrier/wall, factors behind the recent decline in bombings; that is, bombings by walking Palestinians; bombings by flying Israelis have increased (see Amira Hass, Where are the suicide bombers?, December 2007 | Kibush.co.il , translated from Hebrew by George Malent. Hass notes that some Palestinians, desperate for work, slip the wall into Israel daily. If they can do it, so could suicide bombers, if they personally or politically wanted to).

And, at any rate, the settlers and the Occupation are illegal, as is the wall, according to the World Court — and not surprisingly, the Palestinians are justly unhappy with them all — , so the best security solution is to simply remove them.

But the Israeli regime seems to want perpetual war tension. It now sustains their political culture.

That’s fine. They can want whatever they want.

But they don’t have the right to impose it.

And neither do the Palestinians, of course. They just have the right to their rights.

And since one of them is to have that illegal wall breached, and Mr. Olmert doesn’t want to do it, maybe some Palestinian teens can do it for him.

He can meet them at the wall, at dawn.

Tell him to bring a pick.

Tags: , , , ,

Related posts

Night tales: Berlin, LA, Stockholm, Pattaya, Rome

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008

We met James in a Lonely Planet-approved place called Dicke Wirtin, in Berlin, after a day spent looking at the graves of Bertolt Brecht, Fichte and Hegel in the rain, and feeling very profound.
James was a big fat man in his 40s. He wore a broad-brimmed felt hat, a sort of Driza-Bone coat and a salt and pepper goatee beard that forked in the middle. He was an actor and singer, from Boston. He had appeared in a Philadelphia Cream Cheese commercial, which he expected us to have seen, as it had played in cinemas throughout the States in the 1980s. My travel diary doesn%26#39;t record how he%26#39;d wound up in Europe, but he was pursuing a musical career there.
How do I describe his music? His album, which he had committed to cassette tape, was titled Sexy Sadness. On the cover, there was a photograph of a much younger James reclining on a low-hanging tree bough in a rather brief toga. It featured a song called %26quot;Cruisin%26#39; on the Autobahn%26quot; which, he explained, was too frankly sexual for radio play in Berlin.
He showed us his university ID card, which appeared to designate his profession as %26quot;karate teacher%26quot;. This surprised me, given his corpulence. He explained that karate is primarily mental. If you can make your mind carve up one second into split-seconds… well, that%26#39;s karate.
He demonstrated his point. %26quot;From here,%26quot; he said, extending his hands in front of him, as though he were telling us about the size of a fish he%26#39;d caught, %26quot;to here%26quot;, he said, swishing his hands past each other rapidly, setting his mid-section jiggering, %26quot;is all in your mind.%26quot; In addition to his skill as a karate sensei, musician and actor, James also mentioned that he had psychic powers.
He made a lot of jokes about shooting people who irritated him. He would adopt a Dirty Harry drawl and say, %26quot;then I pulled out my .44 Magnum and blew him away%26quot;. Then he would say, %26quot;that%26#39;s just my American black humour%26quot;.
He also told a lot of lame, bawdy jokes that we%26#39;d heard before and when we didn%26#39;t laugh much, he%26#39;d say %26quot;So you%26#39;re young and uptight. That%26#39;s okay. When you%26#39;re older, you%26#39;ll remember the joke and be able to laugh about it - you won%26#39;t feel that your body%26#39;s a bad thing any more%26quot;. (I think about that sometimes. And what I think is, I can%26#39;t remember any of his jokes and I haven%26#39;t noticed my body getting any less of a bad thing as I get older).
He was clearly an eccentric character and his girlfriend, an English nurse named Valerie, seemed nice. We made plans to meet up for a night out.
When we arrived at their place, James was practising with Ernesto, a quiet, reserved German engineer who played second violin in an orchestra but who said that improvisational playing with James %26quot;satisfied%26quot; all his %26quot;musical requirements%26quot;.
Also at James%26#39; place was his friend Ralph, a narrow, 6ft 4, ZZ Top-looking biker who claimed to be the best English speaker in Berlin, but who, in reality, spoke very little English at all. All the same, he was very animated.
James and Valerie had made sauerkraut, bratwurst, wienerwurst, smoked pork and Black Forest ham, and boiled potatoes. After dinner, we headed for East Berlin in Ernesto%26#39;s old Mercedes. We were going to an open mic night at a place called Caf%26eacute; Harlem.
The running order was written on the wall behind the stage as well as the motto: %26quot;Jeder der will - kann; Jeder der kann - mu%26szlig;%26quot; (If you want to, you can; if you can, you must). A man in a Batman T-shirt and leather vest did a rendition of %26quot;Hey Joe%26quot;, singing only %26quot;Hey Joe%26quot; in English, and speaking the rest of the lyrics in German.
An extremely short, intense man called Bjorn got up and said, %26quot;I don%26#39;t do covers, I only sing my own songs. This one is in Hebrew. It%26#39;s an Israeli language. I know it.%26quot; When he switched to English midway through a song, it became clear that Hebrew had been disguising the awfulness of his lyrics, which had all the clumsy, sophomoric angst of a poetry-writing workshop.
Ralph laughed hard at Bjorn. He laid a finger against the side of one nostril and somehow whistled loudly out of the other one. I%26#39;m not sure what kind of sentiment this gesture was meant to express. He and I were both drinking beer shandies made with Fanta instead of lemonade, an unlikely drink for a biker.
After Bjorn, a hamster-faced guy with lots of wild black hair got up with his guitar and mouth-organ. He looked a lot like Bob Dylan and sang a mixture of Bob Dylan songs and original compositions that sounded like Bob Dylan songs. He introduced one such work by saying, %26quot;This is another Bob Dylan song I wrote.%26quot;
We left soon after this, and went back to James%26#39; and Valerie%26#39;s house. We were tired but James insisted on sitting up because, he said, he was excited by the rare opportunity to talk about philosophy. It was decided that we would stay the night on the little couch of his studio apartment.
%26quot;Things got pretty hairy,%26quot; my diary records. %26quot;I can%26#39;t remember in what order the insanity came, but he talked the most shit I%26#39;ve ever heard.%26quot;
At some point, James started talking about a knife he had when he was 14, describing what a good, what a handsome knife it was. I asked what a 14-year-old wanted with a knife. He said, matter-of-factly, that it was %26quot;for magic%26quot;. Misconstruing our surprised and concerned expressions, he added that he only did white magic.
Somewhere around that point, I started thinking about how much I loved my family, who were so far away in New Zealand and who I would never see again because this American freak was going to knife us and make us into wurst.
James returned to the topic of his being psychic. Earlier in the evening, at Caf%26eacute; Harlem, he had been in a corridor on his way to the men%26#39;s toilets, staring at the bottom of a woman walking in front of him, and she had self-consciously touched her hand to her butt. When she emerged from the toilets, he%26#39;d said to her, %26quot;You have psychic abilities, don%26#39;t you?%26quot; This happens a lot, he told us. He stares at women%26#39;s asses and they touch them, in an unconscious demonstration of their psychic powers.
Later on, I was trying to take my boyfriend%26#39;s new watch off but it broke and a spring flew through the air and we didn%26#39;t see where it landed. We looked for it, but couldn%26#39;t find it. The apartment was dimly lit. The carpet had a complicated pattern. In the tone of a bloke opening a tight jar for a lady, James instructed us to let him find it: he would put his psychic powers to work.
He got down on his hands and knees and swayed there for a while, then declared that the spring had gone into a parallel dimension, and that my boyfriend evidently %26quot;wasn%26#39;t meant to have%26quot; the really nice watch I%26#39;d just bought him.
We were leaving for Prague the next day, he reasoned. There would be gypsies there. The watch wouldn%26#39;t be safe. So the universe had taken it from us until such time as it was appropriate for my boyfriend to have his watch back. The thing that bugged me about this was, the spring just had to be down there somewhere.
We went to bed. James snored a lot louder than he%26#39;d sung, which was very loud. His breathing and the clicking sound of his mouth and tonsils made him sound like Darth Vader. We lay awake, giggling helplessly, for a long time.
PattayaBy Matt Suddain
I kissed a boy in Boy Town. Time stood still. Let%26#39;s avoid any moral outrage over the fact that there%26#39;s such a thing as Boy Town, or what I think of the place, or my reasons for kissing a young man in the middle of a crowded cocktail bar, in front of my girlfriend, her sister, their uncle, a lounge singer, her piano player, and the former manager of a famous 80s pop duo.
I was on a world trip with my girlfriend Sarah and her sister Gemma, and on the way home we were stopping in Pattaya, Thailand, to see their uncle Robert and his partner Sing. Robert is a wealthy industrialist who fled the north of England for a place more compatible with his %26quot;leanings%26quot;. Sing is a brilliant and boyish young Thai: a former athlete and speaker of multiple tongues. They share a sweet and loving marriage.
Robert and Sing took us to a few bars in Pattaya, but they were awful. Our hosts looked bored and Sarah confided that the bars they probably liked were a few streets over - in Boy Town. So I said, %26quot;Let%26#39;s go to Boy Town!%26quot; and Sing grew a smile as big as Christmas. Boy Town. My stars. What a fevered carnival of delight. Let%26#39;s be clear: Boy Town is not a place to literally find boys, and I saw nothing illegal (although I did hear about some recent police raids in another part of town). It%26#39;s just a gay village, but it feels like a small city. You enter beneath a gate and into a furious storm of light and heat. The sign above the gate says %26quot;Boyz Town%26quot;- in case you missed the dancing men and the signs saying: %26quot;Throb%26quot;, %26quot;Splash%26quot;, and %26quot;Boyz Boyz Boyz%26quot;.
In the piano bar Caf%26eacute; Royale we found a more downbeat scene. A torch singer performed the hits of Bacharach while the boys of the bar, in peach shirts and little silver shorts, hung together in roving pods of fabulousness, or flirted with the regulars, slapping them lightly on the lapel as if to say %26quot;Oh Mr Farang, you are TOO funny!%26quot; That%26#39;s where we met Simon, a friend of Robert%26#39;s. Simon%26#39;s a famous band manager, and he%26#39;s suitably full of bull and bluster, but also quite a sweetheart. He wore a white linen suit, blue striped shirt and gold neck-chain. When the girls found out what particular 80s pop duo he had once managed, they went nuts. Sarah had a pair of goldfish when she was small: one called George, and one called Michael. I%26#39;ll say no more. The girls must have made quite an impression on Simon, because he announced that he was taking us out to dinner.
The next night we met at a waterfront restaurant behind a fish market and ate lavish plates of seafood while Simon regaled us with unsolicited stories about… I can%26#39;t say; they were so filthy that they just seemed to flow together like one long Aristocrats joke, or an excerpt from the Marquis de Sade books-on-tape series. He was trying to shock, in that way that omni-sexual men like to do, but he%26#39;d picked the wrong crowd. Sarah and Gemma have the sensibilities of a pair of longshoremen. The only time Simon managed to shock was when he shared his theories on Buddhism and Sing quietly said, %26quot;I%26#39;d like you to stop talking about that.%26quot;
After dinner we went to Boy Town. Simon pointedly introduced me to one of the local boys, a handsome man in his early 20s with a square face and moppish hair. I said he seemed nice, but this didn%26#39;t satisfy Simon. It%26#39;s curious how gay men can sometimes display an ironic intolerance. They%26#39;re like those friends who can%26#39;t believe you%26#39;ve given up smoking, and who constantly say, %26quot;Mmmmmmm, sweet nicotine.%26quot; Introducing me to the boy was like blowing smoke in my face.
We went to Caf%26eacute; Royale and the night got beautifully messy. The bar was packed, and the crowd sang along to %26quot;All by Myself%26quot;. Late in the evening Simon leaned over and said, almost sweetly, %26quot;So you don%26#39;t like boys at all?%26quot; I changed the subject, I asked him about his new book, Black Vinyl, White Powder. He said it was selling well and he asked me if I wanted a signed copy. I said, %26quot;Sure.%26quot; Then he said: %26quot;I%26#39;ll give you the book if you kiss that lovely boy on the lips.%26quot; And I almost laughed. I didn%26#39;t really want the book, but declining would send two messages: that I thought kissing a boy was a big deal, and that I thought his book was worth less than a kiss.
Simon soon returned with book and boy. The crowd parted and we met in the middle. I kissed him on the lips, obviously - anywhere else would have been a cop-out or a drastic over-commitment. It was tender but passionless, like the kiss you might give to your wife on your 50th wedding anniversary. In other words, it was both loaded with, and completely void of, meaning. There was a round of applause, the girls laughed, the boy left, bemused. It was a trivial episode, but to Simon it seemed intensely satisfying, like the first long, slow drag on a cigarette. He said %26quot;Well done%26quot;, and handed me the book. A paperback. The dedication: %26quot;Matthew, I hope you enjoy this book as much as you enjoyed that beautiful boy.%26quot; He was right on the money. We drank on and Sing took his place by the piano to sing %26quot;Wind Beneath My Wings%26quot; to Robert, and there was not a dry eye.
The last I heard, Simon was managing a Russian boy duo called … wait for it … Smash! Me and the girls moved on to Koh Samed. I took Black Vinyl, White Powder and read the first chapter on the beach. The intense heat melted the cheap glue that held the spine together, all the chapters got muddled, several of the pages blew away down the beach, past the lolling tourists, and into the sea.
Los AngelesBy Jodie Molloy
If it was good enough for Belushi to die there, and for Britney to get bounced off the back porch, I was happy to give the Chateau Marmont a go. Expensive and pretentious? Sure. But a big night; good times don%26#39;t come cheap in LA. Visions of downing Bellinis and epic glitz led me to the celebrity fountain where I wanted to feed my inner Raquel Welch circa 1970.
I am checked into my suite by an anorexic with a head the size of Beijing and, when left alone, I crudely guzzle my complimentary champagne and doodle indiscriminate kiwis all over my flash monogrammed stationery. I feel slightly nervous as I look around the room and out onto the %26quot;strip%26quot;. Maybe I can%26#39;t go out tonight? Can I go from Takapuna to Tinseltown?
I am mildly anxious that my sartorial combination for the evening is, in LA, equivalent to a burqa. This city is going to be a tough nut to crack for a girl with the knees of a Cabbage Patch Kid.
When I meet an old friend in the courtyard, the wait staff stares at me like Siamese cats fed a Xenical diet. As the first $13 glass of gin arrives, I watch Robbie Williams in the corner, being a knob. Eddie Izzard sips water and power chats with what looks like Steven Spielberg crossed with a primordial dwarf. Rose McGowan is so small I can barely see her and Matthew Perry looks really unfriendly.
Hours pass. This hot-spot is about as exciting as watching paint dry. I tell my friend in passing that I have a thing for Vince Vaughn pre-Aniston. He perks up with inspiration and tells me that we%26#39;ll go to the Dresden Rooms, made famous by the film Swingers. We ditch the sanctimonious crowd and, en route, my friend decides we have to go to The Ivy, citing an %26quot;Eat Hollywood%26quot; experience.
The risotto is good, and I learn that you shouldn%26#39;t drink cocktails made by envious AA-going waiters who want to add friends to their weekly meetings. Macaulay Culkin is dining nearby and I am angling to go and high-five him for his work in Uncle Buck. I also ask Jorge the waiter why rich people pay to eat somewhere that could double as a Huck Finn-style shanty?
My friend deftly relocates me to the next venue, as I yell %26quot;Orange Whip!%26quot; all the way along Sunset Boulevard. Star Shoes, aside from a bad name, is really a bulimic farm that cleverly markets itself as a bar. After practising moves from Doom, I manage to knock off the baying under-fed and get served by a barman who looks like Lou Ferrigno.
I bristle at paying tips for drinks full stop, and especially ones that were thrown at my head. I vent my rancour on a lounge lizard who asks where I%26#39;m from. That develops into an argument in which I%26#39;m defending Peter Jackson and the Ring. Only when drunk will my hidden patriot appear. My passion supports the theory that all New Zealanders are related and that I%26#39;m defending a Middle Earth cult.
As the lizard starts to imitate Gollum, I feign clinical death.
Thankfully, it appears the Liquor Tardis works. When I open my eyes, I%26#39;m in a booth at the famed Dresden.
Marty and Elayne, the campy in-house cadavers, have been playing jazz here for 25 years. They belt out %26quot;Stayin%26#39; Alive%26quot; as I belly up to the bar and order the signature drink, Blood and Sand. As I attempt to walk back, balancing my precious rum, a gaggle of strangers drags me away. I decide these cheery people have appeared in lieu of my real friends who, in spirit, would love to be here. At one point, I%26#39;m misheard while dancing and talking at the same time. This results in somebody telling Marty and Elayne to sing me %26quot;Happy Birthday%26quot;. I am mortified, as the bar gives it their vocal all. I explain that it%26#39;s not my birthday at all, but nobody will hear of such Grinch talk. It%26#39;s more rounds for Little Miss Celebration.
In the wee hours, my friend, the designated driver, and an actor who is worried about the ageing effect alcohol will have on his skin, tells me it%26#39;s time to give up the ghost. I am saddened, but as I egg on a mid-50-something to do the splits I realise that the good times must come to an end. There is an emotional goodbye with my new dance posse.
As we leave, I see Vince Vaughn in a corner. LA really is like being able to get into the enclosure at the zoo. Getting into the car, my inner voice is no longer Raquel Welch; it%26#39;s Demis Roussos calling for a midnight snack in the form of a hotdog from Pink%26#39;s.
Stockholm By Laura MacFehin
For someone who has grown up in the South Pacific it is a pretty mind-warping thing to see the sea frozen. That is what happens when the temperatures drop where the Baltic meets Lake M%26auml;laren around the archipelago that makes up Stockholm. With the islands iced-in, the adventurous commuters who paddle their own canoes to work have to swap kayaks for cross-country skis. Everybody else takes the extremely efficient public transport.
We arrived in Stockholm to find the Baltic in such a state. However, the -10%26deg; C temperatures seemed positively balmy, perhaps because up north where we had spent Christmas the air thought nothing of cooling to -25%26deg;C when you went outside for a cigarette. Fridge too full with Christmas leftovers? Pop them on the front porch; unless some wildlife decides to come out of the forest and investigate, you%26#39;re good.
If the snowy woods of the Swedish/Norwegian border are the perfect Christmas setting, then the sparkling elegance of Stockholm promises a spy novel-type sophistication that seems just right for New Year%26#39;s Eve. The 18th century buildings that come right down to the frozen water, the copper roofs that glitter in the hour or two of daylight that wintertime offers, the open-air ice-skating in Kungstr%26auml;dg%26aring;rden, the market stalls selling mulled wine and gingerbread.
Most Swedes who do not ring in the New Year at home like to go out to dinner to celebrate. Restaurants offer special New Year menus - usually a variation on fish or beef with some kind of potato dish served up with a lot of dill and mustard. This being the capital of one of the most organised peoples on the planet, the restaurants are fully booked for New Year%26#39;s Eve weeks ahead. With our usual %26quot;I don%26#39;t know, what do you want to do?%26quot; slackness we had neglected to consider this.
So on December 31 we found ourselves wandering up the main drag, Sveav%26auml;gen, to find the only eatery with room at the table for us - the Hard Rock Caf%26eacute;. Here the menu spoke to us not of the exotic frozen north but rather in the universal language of burgers and fries. Still, friendly staff and our own innate tackiness soon had us feeling right at home. Smiling into our American beers, we could almost pity the Swedes with enough forethought to be downing caviar and aquavit at the Opera Caf%26eacute;.
After deciding to pass on the icecream sundae, we were out on the street again and back to our default %26quot;I don%26#39;t know…%26quot; setting. Clubs, like restaurants, have to be planned in advance on New Year%26#39;s Eve as they often sell tickets for that one night, so you can be literally out in the cold there too without some forward planning.
Telling ourselves we were not in the mood for that kind of thing anyway, we started back through town to the part of S%26ouml;dermalm where our tiny flat was waiting for us. With everybody inside enjoying their well-planned festivities, the streets were silent. It feels pretty safe walking at night in Stockholm; the main danger in winter is icy cobblestones.
We stopped at Akkurat, a little bar with a fairly dingy-looking front which nevertheless has a large selection of beers and looks across the street to the impressive Maria Magdalena Kyrka. (Actually, the church there now is the %26quot;new%26quot; one, built in the 1700s after the original burnt down.) An older gentleman with a naval bearing sk%26aring;l-ed my partner with the solemnity that sk%26aring;l-ing etiquette requires. Apart from him, the bar was quiet.
We resolved to let the night die the subdued death to which it seemed destined. Properly fortified we left and made it home before midnight, switching on the television to see the live broadcast from Skansen, Stockholm%26#39;s open-air museum and historical village, the highlight of which is the reading of Tennyson%26#39;s %26quot;Ring Out, Wild Bells%26quot; in Swedish by a well known Swedish actor - a tradition too obscure or too deeply Scandinavian for us to penetrate.
With the countdown to this underway we had come to the conclusion that the Swedes, on the whole, were a reserved bunch. Then some explosions from the street shook the windows of our apartment. Looking outside we could see people crouching on the ice, standing in the street, coming out onto rooftops and balconies; everybody seemed to have their own arsenal of fireworks that they were letting off with shouts loud enough to rival the explosions.
Perhaps their neutrality during the war has left them constitutionally immune to the noise of explosions, perhaps the frozen ocean was acting as some huge sounding board, but they were the loudest fireworks I had ever heard.
Suddenly, it was all very exciting and romantic, watching one of the most beautiful cities in the world be illuminated by people who were still, after all, part-Viking.
ROMEBy Mark Broatch
Night in Rome begins with the passeggiata.
A gentle stroll you take through the pedestrian areas of the old city when work ends and the evening begins. It%26#39;s not exercise: arms are never raised beyond hand-holding height. It%26#39;s about chatting, laughing, flirting and gossiping, but mostly it%26#39;s about being seen. Italians dress up for the passeggiata; Giorgio forbid that you haven%26#39;t your best shoes on.
Poorly attired foreigners can sit around the piazzas and fountains and watch with the rest of Italy. It happens in Rome in the streets around the Spanish Steps or across the river - the Tiber or Fiume Tevere, the concrete-walled rush of water that Monica Vitti turns her back on in Antonioni%26#39;s L%26#39;Avventura - in the narrow streets of Trastevere.
As soon as the sun dips, guitar music breaks out. You%26#39;ve started the day, with your cornetto and cappuccino, had a gelato or two as the heat rose from about 25C to 30C in the late afternoon. Now it%26#39;s time for an aperitivo, perhaps a Peroni beer or a sparkling prosecco.
During the day, you%26#39;ve been lost a dozen times. Perhaps it%26#39;s that the Tiber winds in and out, around the Pantheon, back in towards the Colosseum. Perhaps you have been distracted by the stylish, sexy Romans, women and men, with their recklessly tight pants; the hopelessly good shoe shops; the scarily good food; the fairytale cobbled streets.
Rome is a glorious ruin, where you can%26#39;t bury a cat without digging up a civilisation. Even so, it is a modern marvel, underground lines hewing through history to cut the circle of the city into four slices of ancient Margherita. In London the circular road around the metropolis is called the A205/406, in Paris La P%26eacute;riph%26eacute;rique, in Rome Il Grande Raccordo Anulare. If you ask Babelfish what that means, it says %26quot;major beltway%26quot;. I preferred the Italian.
When our evening ended and our night began, we wandered back to the modern, quietish neighbourhood of our hotel, Prati, in the north-west of the city, a Valerie Vili stone%26#39;s throw from the steep high walls of the Vatican. (The night before we had slept from 4pm to 7am, delayed fatigue from the hustle of travel, the shuffle of time zones, the linguistic barricades. I had dreamt of home, of a friend, pregnant, her swollen shiny bump full of her future. The sharp light and sounds of the city brought us back into the world.)
We fell upon a small place in a back street. Ravenous, we went in and took a table at the back. September in Rome is full of the kind of foreigners we were trying hard to avoid. We chose our entr%26eacute;es and our wine and relaxed as we looked around the room.
It might not have been so nondescript a place. One customer looked like a politician, all polished tan and brushed hair. His table partner, blonde and having had the frequent recent attentions of a beautician, was possibly not his wife. The waiters were deferential around them.
A couple came in, possibly saw us trying to look away, sat next to us. We politely ignored them, talked among ourselves. What%26#39;s that you%26#39;re drinking, they asked, in that most hokey of American accents. Primitivo, we said reluctantly, less than willing to divulge what was our latest discovery in Italian wines. She was once an air hostess, she said, and she still had the careful makeup and coiffure; he was ancient but clearly wealthy beyond any career path I had immediately in mind. She fed him his entr%26eacute;e with a spoon. They were pleasant enough company. Some nationalities are awful in general, bearable in the particular. But when they started to correct the English of the waiter who had delivered their mains, I had to turn away.
But the food, the food was spectacular. Yet I can not tell you what we had. I can%26#39;t even remember what we had to start or to follow. Probably antipasto and pasta. Italian food isn%26#39;t fancy: quality ingredients prepared with love and care. And every Italian knows what good food is; expects it every time. The entr%26eacute;e and dessert trolleys were what really opened our eyes and set our saliva glands into overdrive - delicious slabs of meat and cheese and pieces of fruit were rolled around the room by a man who had done this for decades. He sedately cut off slices at the table. But after our mains we were too full to try a sweet or coffee. We paid our bill and said goodbye to our new American acquaintances. We walked back to our hotel in the warm darkness. We pushed through the wooden door to the courtyard, went into the metal cage of a lift and back to our room over the courtyard. Unlike any hotel room before or since, it felt like home.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related posts

Raging Fatalism; and Putting The Boot In

Saturday, January 19th, 2008

What the hell’s up with him? The Fiver can only surmise that he’s making patriotic hay while the sun shines. For tomorrow the national football team play world champions Italy at Hampden, and a win will guarantee qualification for Euro 2008 - though it might as well guarantee the moon on a stick, because we all know what’s going to happen. Still, not everyone is as mentally disturb … hold on … not everyone is as pessimistic as Shortbread. “It’s our intention to go the final step,” smiled Alex McLeish today. “We’re at home in Glasgow and we have to make the Italians feel they’re away from home,” added the Scotland boss, whose relaxed manner would surely have settled Shortbread’s nerves, were Shortbread not playing a medley of Runrig’s greatest hits on chanter while attempting a soft-shoe shuffle around two sharp claymores.So who’s going to put this pressure on the Italians? Kenny Miller? James McFadden? Kenny Miller and James McFadden? “It’s not my policy to reveal the starting line-up,” shrugged McLeish, as an in-shock Shortbread tried to affix three severed toes back on to his foot, “but I’m sure later on in the day or tomorrow morning the newspapers will have a probable team.” McLeish has got that damn straight, because the folk over at Big Paper know someone who knows someone who’s seen McLeish’s starting XI, and word is that jinking genius McFadden will plough a lone furrow up front. Meanwhile as a manic Shortbread was carted away in the Special Bus to the Special Hospital, his Italian cousin Bespoke Tailoring Expensive Shoes Moped Pizza Smouldering Good Looks Fiver was kicking back, sipping a small glass of grappa in an insouciant fashion. He knows. He just knows. Let’s face it, we all know. Poor Shortbread!* * * * * * * * * * * *QUOTE OF THE DAY”I haven’t got a bad word to say about Martin Jol. I loved working with him, and we got on really well. Unfortunately we are in a results-driven business” - Robbie Keane sticks the boot in to his fun-but-useless former Tottenham manager Tony Soprano.*********************THIRD WORLD WARThe Fiver enjoys a parlour game or none when it’s gathered round the family hearth. Scrabble, Pin The Tail On Juliano Belletti, Tearful Drunken Fight With Your Father Who Never Appreciated You - they’re all crackers. But best of all is that game where you change one of the words in a film’s title to make a gigglesome joke. So Star Wars becomes - tee-hee! - Fart Wars, and Honey I Shrunk The Kids becomes something very bad indeed.The same logic could be applied to today’s placatory quotes from Slaven Bilic about the England team. Simply add the words “especially if you’re England” to the end of each sentence and suddenly it makes sense.”It is not easy to play in Russia. It is not easy to play Macedonia. And it’s very difficult to play in Tel Aviv,” he said today (this sentence doesn’t count, pedant). “So maybe [England] were expecting to cruise the group, but it’s a very difficult group.”While Slaven was giving Second-Choice Steve the benefit of the doubt, England’s World Cup-winning full-back George Cohen was busy putting the boot in. “I find it upsetting when I watch this England team. Look at the sides we play - some of them are genuine third-world countries,” said Cohen, safe in the knowledge that the humble yam farmers of Andorra [GDP per capita $38,800] would never get wind of his ill-informed comments. “I can’t imagine anything less passionate than the way we play now.”England’s hosts tonight - as long as they can manage to get a few car batteries together to power their floodlights - will be the subsistence farmers of Austria. But it’s tomorrow’s games involving Russia, Israel and Croatia that England really need to watch out for, because if results don’t go their way, they’re heading for a very long summer of rubbish parlour games.What with it being Friday night and this match being completely meaningless, don’t bother following Austria v England as it happens with Scott Murray, but go out meet some new people and have a few drinks instead.*********************THE RUMOUR MILLVillarreal’s Juan Roman Riquelme is off to Spurs, after picking up subtle signals from his current club that suggest his long-term future might lie elsewhere. “The people at the club keep saying I am not needed,” he harrumphed.The West Ham chequebook is at this very moment down the gym pounding the treadmill as it prepares for an almighty January flexing. Giles Barnes and Nicky Shorey will both sign, while Nigel Quashie will remind the world that he does still exist by moving somewhere else for a nominal fee.Ronaldinho might be coming to Chelsea, but then again he might not. Don’t ask Henk ten Cate, former Barcelona assistant manager and current holder of that very same post at Stamford Bridge, because he doesn’t know anything about it. “I don’t know anything about it, ” he said, or words to that effect.* * * * * * * * * *STILL WANT MORE?Simon Burnton examines the big black cloud currently hovering over Oldham’s Boundary Park.Seconds out for a six-minute-and-30-second round of audio chat between Big Paper scribe Simon Hattenstone and Ricky Hatton.From the 90-year-old rugby star to the Norwegian playing third division football at 60, The Joy of Six: elderly sportsmen looks at athletes who’ve stuck two fingers up at Father Time.Liverpool and Israeli legend Ronny Rosenthal goes toe-to-toe with Small Talk to explain that miss against Aston Villa, why a lion would win a fight with a tiger, and why his country can help England reach Euro 2008.What’s that coming over the hill? It’s James Richardson and the Football Weekly crew, droning about Scotland and England and Israel and Spain and other stuff.Sweat onions and leeks in butter with Big Paper chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall as he shows you how to whip up a wholesome, nutritious and downright tasty smoked pollack chowder.And in tomorrow’s %26#163;1.50 Big Paper: telly-watching misanthrope Charlie Brooker hands down his verdict on the week’s TV, more pre-Israel v Russia straw-clutching in Sport, and enough supplements, inserts and pull-outs to clutter up most modestly-sized living rooms.* * * * * * * * * * *NEWS IN BRIEFBenfica midfielder Augustin Binya has been handed a six-match ban for his slightly over-enthusiastic tackle on Queen’s Celtic midfielder Scott Brown during the two sides’ Big Cup clash at Parkhead.The FAI has denied making overtures to Paul Jewell or anyone else in a bid to find somebody who knows what they are doing to manage the Republic of Ireland football team. “Will ya g’wan outta dat ya feckin’ hoor ya! No approach has been made by the FAI to any potential manager,” insisted a spokesman.The Sheilaroos have said “fair dinkum” to Everton’s request that Tim Cahill should sit out his country’s international friendly against Nigeria at Craven Cottage next week.And in news that is bound to generate no end of chat around office water-coolers the length and breadth of the UK, Reading’s Icelandic international Ivar Ingimarsson has announced his retirement from international football.* * * * * * * * * *FIVER LETTERS”Re: the BBC apologising for EastEnders dialogue. Liverpool fans under attack from fictional c0ckneys? Will their suffering never cease?” - Jim Adamson.”EastEnders was seen by 12 million people who always thought ‘them Scousers’ were to blame all along and the BBC see fit to perpetuate this myth yet again. Revenge for the ‘Justice Day’ hijacking of the FA Cup tie against Arsenal earlier in the year? There was also an insinuation that fences went up BECAUSE of Heysel. This is untrue, but of course, this just makes me look like a stereotypical, self-pitying Scouser, doesn’t it? I wonder if you thought that about the thousands of Italian fans who turned up for Gabriele Sandri’s funeral? Were they self-pitying football supporters too?” - Behn Graham.”Continuing the Ultravox theme (Wednesday’s Fiver), were the guests at Steve Rider’s party (yesterday’s Fiver) dancing with tears in their eyes?” - Phil Taylor.”Did you mean Park Drive cigarettes in yesterday’s Bernard Cribbins story? I believe the Monopoly-related smokes were called Mayfair” - Geoff Coxon.”Re: $tevie Mbe. With such an inflated superiority complex and propensity for despot-like mood swings, a dollar sign in his first name and a surname that looks and pronounces like a stereotypical African one, I was beginning to wonder if the Fiver’s writers had cottoned onto something we don’t yet know about the whereabouts of the ‘late’ Emperor Bokassa” - Russell Yong.”Darren Boyle’s reference to Fiver-saving lift devices suggests it’s a good thing Big Paper hasn’t outsourced Fiver Towers’ high quality work to China yet” - Paul Jurdeczka.”I was interested to see that one of the more creative readers of the Guardian football site has turned Chelsea’s Israeli manager, Avram Grant, into Enid Blyton’s Noddy in this week’s Gallery. I’d like to point out that in Grant’s mother tongue (Hebrew that is) the word ‘noddy’ means ‘my fart’. Just thought you’d like to know that” - David Graniewitz.”Before the transfer saga even begins for James McFadden, he should just accept that his football career has never really taken off and go back to concentrating on his singing career. Travis haven’t had a decent album in years” - Se醤 Cassidy.”Re: Paul Jewell being linked with the Republic of O’Ireland job. After leading Plucky Little Wigan, will Paul be needing the Pluck of the Irish when he takes the helm?” - Rob Rayburn.Send your letters to the.boss@guardian.co.uk.* * * * * * * * * * *DON’T WORRY PAOLO - YOU MIGHT GET A BETTER RESULT AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related posts

Who does Bob think he is?

Saturday, January 19th, 2008

Directed by Todd Haynes, one of whose early films told the tragic tale of Karen Carpenter using glove puppets, I’m Not There is the first cinematic attempt to tackle the epic landscape that is Dylan’s life and work. It is a wildly experimental film whose extravagantly staged, but often determinedly confusing, approach is as far away from the tired terrain of the traditional biopic as it is possible to go. Perhaps it is for this very reason that it initially received Dylan’s blessing back when it was only a one-page treatment. Dylan’s son, Jesse, has now been sent a DVD copy of I’m Not There, which has been passed on to the great man. Thus far, Haynes has heard nothing back. Given Dylan’s famed reticence, we may never get to know what he thinks of a film that plays havoc with the very idea of Bob Dylan.The director is a mercurial talent whose previous films have included Velvet Goldmine, which was set in the glam rock era, and Far From Heaven, a homage to the great Hollywood melodramatist Douglas Sirk. Nothing he has done previously, though, quite prepares you for this roller coaster ride.It begins brilliantly and provocatively with that now legendary motorcycle crash in 1966, the metaphorical death that allowed the late Sixties, surrealist, strung-out Dylan the downtime he needed to be born again as a family man, recluse and rabbinical storyteller. In I’m Not There, though, Dylan actually dies in the crash.’I thought that was kind of neat’, says Haynes, an affable, animated 46-year-old American in check shirt, faded black jeans and sneakers, ‘because the crash was a death of sorts. The counterculture was actually mourning Dylan at the time, even more so when he was reborn as a rootsy country singer. So, in a way, it’s a really good place to start a movie that deals with the idea of artistic reinvention and that, for the most part, combines fact and fiction pretty openly.’In I’m Not There, there are seven different Dylans, or, as Haynes puts it, ’seven core characters each representing a pivotal time in Dylan’s life and work’. There’s the young Dylan who wanted to be Woody Guthrie, the slightly older Dylan who almost became Pete Seeger, and the slightly stoned Dylan who summoned up the ghost of Rimbaud. The film really becomes - there’s no other word for it - Dylanesque, when the wild mercury Dylan shows up, followed by the backwoods Basement Tapes Dylan, the Blood on the Tracks Dylan and the born-again, Bible-thumping Dylan.The seven narratives - and I use the word in its loosest sense - unfold in a kaleidoscopic way that, according to the director, echoes Dylan’s urge to ‘constantly multiply the confusions and toy with the desire that people have to try and pin him down’.To multiply the confusions even more, Haynes has cast six actors to portray the seven Dylans, one of whom, Christian Bale, plays both Dylan the folk prophet and Dylan the God botherer. It’s an inspired conceit, but, inevitably, some Bobs work better than others. The funniest Bob is a 13-year-old African-American boy (Marcus Carl Franklin), the most believable Bob is a woman (Cate Blanchett), and the most allegorical Bob is a Buddhist (Richard Gere). None of the seven is actually called Bob, mind. One is called Arthur, as in Arthur Rimbaud, another Billy, as in Billy the Kid, and yet another Jude, as in - I guess - Judas Iscariot. You get the picture? And even if you don’t, you can kind of see why the real Dylan went for it. I’m Not There may not quite be as out-there as his own skewed cinematic take on identity and performance, Renaldo and Clara, but it’s pretty damn close.’I wasn’t that interested in, you know, the truth,’ elaborates Haynes, sounding for a moment like his subject, ‘nor in taking the straight biopic approach. Instead, I wanted to track Dylan’s creative imagination and where it took him and how his life mirrored that imagination, or propelled it, or followed it. It’s essentially my take on those moments in Dylan’s development where his music and the events of his life intersected.’Thus Haynes gleefully explodes or exaggerates all the received wisdom about Dylan, allowing characters from songs to come to life and characters from real life to appear as hallucinations. The ghosts of Guthrie, Ginsberg, and Edie Sedgwick are summoned up, the old weird America of The Basement Tapes is recreated, and Pete Seeger finally gets to wield that infamous, but, alas, apocryphal, axe over the electric cables at Newport.Haynes’s wilful blurring of fact, fiction and myth will probably annoy the crap out of the Bob bores, the very people who possess the deep knowledge of Dylan lore to be able to pick up on, and decode, all the in-jokes and references.’Oh, they’ll be panicking, I suspect,’ grins Haynes, ‘but it’ll do them good. To me, it’s like the ultimate misunderstanding of Dylan to try and pin him down by collecting and endlessly analysing everything he does. The one thing you have to acknowledge about Dylan right off is that he’s never there when you reach out to claim him. He’s already gone, three steps down the road.’Does it worry him, though, that anyone with only a passing interest in Dylan’s music, or, indeed, no interest at all, may well be baffled by a film whose every scene assumes a certain level of prior knowledge on behalf of the viewer?’Oh, I really hope not,’ he says, looking pained at the very thought. ‘From the very start, when I conceived the idea of the multiple Dylans, I never thought that this was a film that would stand or fail on whether or not you got all the references. If it doesn’t have a visceral life of its own as a film, it doesn’t work. That’s been the really gratifying thing about the reaction so far.’ (The film received a 10-minute standing ovation at the Venice Film Festival.) ‘It seems to be exciting people as a new way of looking at an artist’s life cinematically.’It certainly is that. Thus far, most reviewers have picked up on Blanchett’s performance as the strung-out, dandyfied, mid-Sixties’ Dylan, but it left me more irritated than inspired. She gets the walk, but not the talk. The tics and mannerisms are all in place, but the performance is too mannered, too actorly, to entirely convince.Nevertheless, in casting Blanchett, Haynes highlights something long overlooked, ignored, or not even noticed, by Dylan scholars: the sense of sexual indeterminacy that he adopted, and played around with, at that intensely creative time. The dandyism, the exaggerated drawl, the effete and extravagant stage gestures, the bitchy, spiteful tone of both ‘Positively 4th Street’ and ‘Like a Rolling Stone’ - all suggest that Dylan may have borrowed more from the Warhol camp (ouch!) than he ever admitted, even as he was sneering at them in song. Let’s hear it, finally, for Queen Bob Approximately .’Oh absolutely,’ says Haynes. ‘Male, white heterosexuality has been imposed on Dylan in all these ways that have contributed to reducing the risks and the adventures that he was undertaking at the time. I mean, “Like a Rolling Stone” is all the things they say it is - the anthem, the roar of infinite possibility, of courage and hope - but it’s also a taunt, a big put-down. The tone of superiority is incredible. Almost queeny. The critics just don’t go there, though. They don’t explore the psychosexual thing, all those hard rock songs that are also feminine. Even with all the praise and worship, they box him in.’Todd Haynes, as you may have guessed, is not your regular Dylan fan. He has vague memories of ’singing “Blowin’ in the Wind” at Hebrew school as a toddler’, and discovered Blonde on Blonde at the same time as he was hanging out at hardcore punk gigs in Los Angeles in the late Seventies. It was much later, though, during a time of emotional and creative crisis, that he began delving deeply into the canon.’It was around the end of my thirties, when I was having a big personal and creative crisis. I had just finished making Velvet Goldmine, which had been so damn hard to get made, and I was feeling a bit lost, really. I suddenly looked around me and all my friends were having babies or had bought that little bit of real estate in New York. I had none of that in my life. All I had was my films. It was really the emotional fallout from that time that sent me running towards Dylan’s music.’His journey began when he bought The Columbia Bootleg Series Volume 1, and simultaneously began reading Greil Marcus’s book, Invisible Republic, which delves deep onto the musical and mystical roots of The Basement Tapes. ‘It was like I just suddenly couldn’t get enough of Bob Dylan,’ he says now, laughing.Having managed to find all five volumes of The Basement Tapes, which, unlike the official double album, includes the strange and startling song that gives his film its title, he then tracked down a copy of Eat the Document (DA Pennebaker’s unreleased tour documentary from 1966). Then, on a road trip from New York to Portland to begin writing his 2002 film, Far From Heaven, Haynes bought Harry Smith’s Anthology of American Folk Music box set. ‘It was,’ he says, ‘like all the pieces of this incredible jigsaw were coming together.’It was only when Haynes started delving into the transcripts of Dylan’s interviews and press conferences from the mid-Sixties, though, that the idea for the film began to really take shape.’I was just mesmerised reading this stuff,’ he enthuses, ‘I mean, this was improvised performance art at its highest. Dylan was just so ahead of the game back then, and moving at such a momentum. He was playing such extraordinary games with the media, answering their questions at all these other levels through the prism of his amazing imagination and humour and symbolic sensibility. I mean, the answers start to sound like his lyrics. Just incredible. I remember thinking, this has to be re-enacted, and brought to the light of day, and shared.’Unbelievably, Haynes began writing the script for I’m Not There convinced that the film would never get made. ‘I never thought for a moment I’d get the rights to the songs, but I kept returning to the script. The idea just kept pulling me back.’It was his producer, Christine Vachon, who contacted Jesse Dylan, Bob’s eldest son, and a film director himself. Jesse put her on to Jeff Rosen, Dylan’s business manager-cum-confidant, who instructed her to tell Haynes to send them a short outline of the idea as well as DVDs of all his films. In the summer of 2000, Haynes duly typed out a one-page treatment that began with the Rimbaud quote ‘I is another’, and laid out the notion of the multiple Dylans. A few months later, against all the odds, his film was given the green light by Dylan. ‘You just can’t second-guess him,’ laughs Haynes.Having watched I’m Not There, I’m inclined to say the same of Todd Haynes. Let’s just say his whole approach is a lot more referential than reverential, and not just towards Dylan. Stylistically, there are whole sections borrowed from Godard, Fellini and Peckinpah, with nods to Altman, Warhol and even Pennebaker thrown in for good measure.Sometimes, this magpie approach works brilliantly. The long scene where Blanchett’s strung-out Dylan stumbles through a party in Warhol’s studio is shot in the harsh, black and white style of Fellini’s La Dolce Vita, creating yet another level of heightened unreality that reflects both Dylan’s unravelling psyche and the unreal amphetamine-fuelled atmosphere of the Factory.At other times, though, particularly in the long, allegorical section in which Dylan/Billy the Kid (Richard Gere) wanders through a backwoods landscape populated by strange characters from The Basement Tapes, you feel you are watching an entirely different film, one directed by the late Robert Altman at his most meandering and elliptical. It’s a story that goes nowhere, and, like much in the film, makes little sense as allegory unless you make all the connections - to The Basement Tapes album and the lost America it evokes; to Peckinpah’s film, Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid, an ode to the disappearing west that Dylan soundtracked and in which he had a cameo; and to Dylan’s own sense of himself as a musical outlaw on the run from the critics and fans who endlessly try to pin him down or unmask him. When I mention my uneasiness with the Dylan/Billy section of the film, Haynes listens carefully and nods almost in agreement.’Well, it’s a leap, I guess,’ he says, after some thought, ‘and I know a lot of people would have preferred to just watch the Cate Blanchett Dylan the whole way through. But I thought it was important to have the sense of a man on the run in there, a man haunted by the ghosts of his previous selves, and by the fear that he might be somehow found out. There is often that fugitive sense to Dylan in both his music and his life, the urge to keep moving, to not look back, to shed one self in other to create another. That’s really what I was getting at.’For me, though, the bravura set pieces worked better than the tangled allegorical sections. The notorious battle of Newport, 1965, begins with Dylan and cohorts rolling into the festival site like hired hitmen in a fleet of limos with darkened windows, and culminates with them raking the booing audience with machine-gun fire. It’s a scene that echoes Sid Vicious’s performance of ‘My Way’ in The Great Rock’n'Roll Swindle, which climaxes with the pantomime punk rocker slaughtering his audience literally as well as metaphorically. Dylan as the godfather of punk, anyone?’Oh God, yeah,’ says Haynes. ‘I mean, Newport was pure punk. The volume, the distortion, the aggression. It was an assault on the audience. To me, that’s the birth of punk. Then, on the European tour that followed, you can see him actively feeding off the anger and hostility that’s coming of the audience, and using that hostility to further fuel the creative process. It’s punk. It’s exactly what Iggy Pop did later. But, for Dylan, the stakes were even higher. I mean, it’s an incredible and frightening thing to be met with that kind of hostility after you’ve experienced all that adulation. He used the fear as a creative tool as well. That’s pretty hardcore.’As well as playing with the myth of Bob Dylan, Haynes tackles two tricky periods in the singer’s life: his break-up with his first wife, Sara, and his late-Eighties born-again Christian period. Haynes dramatises the latter interlude by making Dylan (Christian Bale) an actual church pastor who has turned his back on fame but who still sings sermons to his flock. Absurd, maybe, but back around the time of Slow Train Coming and Saved, when Dylan was using the stage as a pulpit, that same scenario did not seem that far-fetched.The philandering, mid-Seventies’ Dylan, played by Heath Ledger, and re-christened Robbie, is perhaps the most enigmatic, and the most intriguing, presence in the film. This is the Dylan who wrote ‘Blood on the Tracks’, and the plaintive broken-hearted ballad ‘Sara’, perhaps the most naked cri de couer he ever wrote. In I’m Not There, Charlotte Gainsbourg plays an artist called Claire, who seems to be an amalgam of both Sara and Dylan’s first serious girlfriend, Suze Rotolo. The fact that Gainsbourg is a dead ringer for the young Patti Smith makes the scene in which Bob/ Robbie rails against feminists generally, and women poets in particular, even more surreal. I ask Haynes if the rant, which culminates with the line ‘chicks can never be poets’, has any basis in fact?’My research is kind of blurred and from so many sources, but that was actually something Joan Baez recounted.’ Baez is played to a tee by Julianne Moore, whose cameo is almost worth the price of admission alone. ‘Wasn’t she great? She just nailed her. Joan was, like, so proud and still carefree somehow. It wasn’t like she had an axe to grind or anything like that, it has to be said, though he did treat her like crap. I love the fact she doesn’t come over as the poor pathetic folkie who’s been left behind. She just kind of tells it like it is.’All the same, I can’t imagine Dylan being too happy with the Robbie section. ‘Oh, I’m not so worried about that,’ shrugs Haynes. ‘I mean, I was not exactly being historical or literal. If anything, even less so than elsewhere in the film.’In the end, it is Haynes’s freewheeling approach to Dylan’s life and work that both makes and breaks I’m Not There. His decision, for instance, to have Christian Bale play two separate incarnations of Dylan works on a conceptual level, but you may find yourself wondering, as I did, why Bob Neuwirth, Dylan’s annoyingly ubiquitous sidekick from 1966, suddenly morphs into John Lennon. Or why Mr Jones from ‘Ballad of a Thin Man’ returns as Sheriff Pat Garrett.Does it all add up? Not really. Nor, I suspect, was it meant to. It is, after all, a cinematic attempt to capture Dylan’s singular creative dynamic. It is also an unapologetically experimental film of the kind that does not tend to make it onto even the art house circuit these days.’I don’t know that it makes sense,’ Blanchett told the New York Times recently, ‘and I don’t know whether Dylan’s music makes sense. It hits you in some kind of other place. It might make sense when you are half-awake, half-asleep, in the everyday lives in which we live.’This is undoubtedly true, but it misses the crucial point that music works on a different, and arguably deeper, emotional and psychological level than film. Ironically, nowhere is this more apparent than when actual Dylan songs are used in the film. Every time this happened, my instinct was to close my eyes and listen, undistracted by images that strove to interpret that song.When ‘Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands’ starts rolling and tumbling out of the cinema speakers, you might find yourself wondering, as I did, why anyone would even attempt to get inside Dylan’s mind. The song hits you in some other place,, a place that even a film as wildly inventive, utterly infuriating, and relentlessly referential as this one cannot really connect with. In the end, I respect the fact that Todd Haynes tried to, and tried to in a way that somehow reflects the restless, re-inventive spirit of its subject. The film may well be a glorious failure, but I’ll say one thing for Todd Haynes - he’s got a lot of nerve. I’m Not There is released nationwide on 21 DecemberThey seek it thereGeoff Dyer on ‘I’m Not There’, the song, a Dylan mysteryI first heard ‘I’m Not There’ at the apartment of American novelist and Dylan nut Jonathan Lethem, who announced that what we were about to hear was ‘the Holy Grail of Dylan bootlegs’. He was not exaggerating.Bootleg recordings are not the preserve of crazies like Lethem. Dylan’s haphazard, even indifferent attitude to the recording process means that his unreleased material is not just fascinating but essential. The writer Robert Polito even asks: ‘What if Dylan’s illicit material - bootlegs of live performances, studio outtakes, rehearsals, and unreleased songs - ultimately prove… his most vital, revelatory, and enduring work?’The idea of perfection has always been anathema to Dylan. Terrific turns of phrase and complete banalities exist side by side in every song. For every improvement made to the released version of ‘Idiot Wind’ (the gale ‘blowing like a circle round your skull/ From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Capitol’ first comes ’round your jaw/ From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Mardi Gras’) there is a corresponding loss. But one of his best ever rhymes simply disappears without trace: ‘Figured I’d lost you anyway, why go on, what’s the use?/ In order to get in a word with you I’d've had to come up with some excuse.’ Masterpieces such as ‘Blind Willie McTell’ or ‘Up to Me’ also made way for blatantly inferior songs on their originally intended albums.Dylan continually reworks his material, for richer, for poorer. Many Dylan songs exist in dozens of different versions in terms of the music, arrangements and lyrics.And then there is ‘I’m Not There’. It was part of the loose batch of recordings made in 1967, after Dylan had retired to Woodstock in the wake of his motorcycle crash. These recordings were done either at Dylan’s house or the Big Pink, the house in West Saugerties rented by some members of the Band. Bootlegs of these sessions enjoyed wide circulation before a selection was released as The Basement Tapes in 1975. ‘I’m Not There’ was not included, nor has it been included in the ‘official’ bootleg series. So in a sense it is still not there.How many times has Dylan performed ‘Like a Rolling Stone’? A thousand? Five thousand? Some performances vary in interest but the sheer abundance means that the value of any one of the competing live versions is relative rather than absolute. ‘I’m Not There’ exists only in one recording - and it scarcely exists even in that one. Whereas ‘Rolling Stone’ begins abruptly with that famous, attention-grabbing rimshot - this song starts NOW! - ‘I’m Not There’ is already under way by the time the recording renders it audible, as if taping it were an afterthought, or as if the song just drifted into almost-existence. Not only is the song obviously incomplete, so is the usual way of referring to it. The full title is ‘I’m Not There (1956)’, though what the bracketed date refers to is anybody’s guess. The words of the refrain are written, fixed; the rest of the time Dylan is free-associating, improvising, coaxing the unborn song into life. Many of the words are inaudible or incomprehensible. We wait for the blur of words to slip back in to temporary focus: ‘Now when I [unintelligible] I was born to love her/But she knows that the kingdom weighs [waits?] so high above her/And I run but I race but it’s not too fast or soon[?]/But I don’t perceive her, I’m not there, I’m gone.’Dylan never finished the song. Never re-recorded or reworked, it exists only as this sketch. In this respect, it bears comparison with other famous, uncompleted fragments (Coleridge’s ‘Kubla Khan’) that come unbidden and then melt away (’fled is that music’).When I first heard the song it seemed threadbare, insufficiently formed to sustain the weight of expectation generated by its mythic status. But, in the weeks that followed, I couldn’t stop playing it. As I listened over and over, it began to furl itself around me and I began to see that its incompleteness is essential to its effect.Just as this issue was going to press a blog sensationally announced that in the course of preparing the I’m Not There soundtrack a ‘newly unearthed version’ of the title song had been discovered in Neil Young’s vaults. It turns out, however, that it is just a slightly cleaner recording of the same performance. Phew! The ‘I’m Not There’ soundtrack (Columbia), featuring the song, is out nowThere was this movie I seen … ‘Dylan on screenBob Dylan is a fan of the movies: that much is clear from a close reading of his lyrics and songs like ‘Brownsville Girl’ (which quotes from The Gunfighter). Film references aside, much as Dylan has tried his hand at fiction (with Tarantula) and painting (his first exhibition opened in Germany last month ), the artistic possibilities of the movie camera have attracted him. Dylan hired D A Pennebaker following his success with Don’t Look Back, a record of his 1965 UK tour, to make a film about his next visit to Blighty. The result, Eat The Document featured a number of surreal happenings. It can be seen as a dry-run for the four-hour Renaldo and Clara, an exceedingly bizarre film of the 1975 Rolling Thunder Revue tour. It, too, remains little seen. But for bonkers, nothing quite matches 2003’s motion picture Masked and Anonymous, which Dylan wrote (under a pseudonym) and starred in. It bombed.Dylan’s pedigree as a straight actor is dubious, as anyone who has sat through Hearts of Fire (with Rupert Everett) will surely testify. Still, in his recent ads for Cadillac cars, he’s as mean, moody and magnificent as you could wish for.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related posts

Let’s match the Palme d’Or with a Golden Nelson

Saturday, January 19th, 2008

Some form of competition would, I think, lend the festival a narrative and create that vital elixir of all film festivals, ‘buzz’. Trophies concentrate the mind, and London could mark out its taste with a major, headline award, supporting the kind of film the good members of Bafta wouldn’t touch. (Even the new Reykjavik festival hands out, I’ve just discovered, a Golden Puffin to the best film.) A Golden Nelson or a Golden Pigeon would make London a festival worth winning on the global circuit.If I had a favourite this year, it was probably The Savages, a bitterly funny, beautifully performed comic drama with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney as a brother and sister having to put their ailing father into a nursing home. Written and directed by Tamara Jenkins (10 years after her Slums of Beverly Hills debut), it’s an edgy, neurotic film about various forms of care - for ourselves, our families, parents, plants and pets - and one with a dread fear of ageing.The American film that most delighted audiences was Juno, a smart-mouthed indie comedy about a 16-year-old high school girl (the impressive Ellen Page) giving her unwanted pregnancy up for adoption to yuppie couple Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner. Working with a sharp, poisonously sarcastic script from Diabolo Cody, director Jason Reitman has orchestrated a moody teenager of a movie, a sort of Knocked Up meets Heathers, and it could be a suprisingly big hit.For sheer breezy fun, I was swept along by Don Cheadle and Chiwetel Ejiofor in Talk to Me, a terrific (and true) tale of a Washington DC prison DJ who became a cult figure with his audience when let loose on the city’s black radio station in the late 1960s. Directed by Kasi Lemmons, it mixes politics and social history with a genuine affection for its subject, and provides a platform for Cheadle’s outrageous afros, large shirt collars and funky dialogue while the soul music soundtrack is superbly chosen.While American, Romanian and French film appeared in good health this festival, it pained me to witness a real timidity among home-grown product. The only British film of any great imagination was Garth Jennings’s lovely Son of Rambow, a story of two schoolboys in Eighties England trying to make a home movie to send into the BBC’s Screen Test programme. Charmingly funny, there are flights of doodly animation and lo-fi comedy as well as touching moments of young friendship - and it’s the first British film I’ve ever seen to feature that extraordinary childhood event: the French exchange.Although well received by an invited audience, I’m afraid Brick Lane was rather disappointing, all muslin and Muslims, with feeble stabs at capturing the character of the titular street and even milder attempts to explain radicalisation, sex, love and even motherhood.Among the documentaries that grabbed my attention was the remarkable Hold Me Tight, Let Me Go by Kim Longinotto, about a school for troublesome children who kick, spit and swear until controlled by the amazing everyday heroics of the teaching staff. It’s a very British version of the French hit, Etre et avoir, shot with clarity and human kindness.Just like a womanBob Dylan only gave the go-ahead for Todd Haynes’s biopic I’m Not There when he heard he was to be played by Cate Blanchett. At the festival Todd told me: ‘Dylan’s never said yes to a dramatic film about him or his music but my plan to use Cate got his attention. I don’t know if he was flattered or just amused - I think he just wanted someone to be playful and light. All we know, through his manager, Jeff Rosen, is that he admires Cate as an actress.’ Blanchett also needed careful persuasion: ‘She told me she always took the men’s parts in her high school plays,’ explained the director of Far From Heaven . ‘But I’d always detected a masculinity in her - Cate’s tall, with these immaculate cheekbones, strong neck and a beautiful, real nose that hasn’t been tampered with, so I always knew you could do extraordinary things with her in drag.’
Audiences might be surprised at the absence of Dylan’s famous cue-card sequence, but Todd tells me it’s out there somewhere. ‘That sequence to “Subterranean Homesick Blues” was shot as a trailer for Don’t Look Back , the Pennebaker film, but it became so famous that they put in the movie. So I shot it for the same promotional purposes, with all the different characters who play Dylan in their own backdrops, but I don’t know what will happen to it now.’ Band on the runLFF crowd-pleaser The Band’s Visit was also the opening film of the UK Jewish Film Festival last week, where its subtle themes of reconciliation were warmly welcomed. The comedy, about an Egyptian police band stranded in a tiny Israeli desert settlement, won eight Israeli Academy awards but has now been denied entry to the Foreign Language Oscar race because half its dialogue is in English, the only language the Arab and Hebrew-speaking characters have in common. It’s a shame, because the film would have appealed to the Oscar academy and stood a great chance. Instead, Israel is putting forward Joseph Cedar’s Beaufort, billed as the country’s first war movie. You can see the two films go head-to-head in the UKJFF’s eclectic programme.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Related posts

Archives

September 2008
M