Movie Sets Under Siege

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Anyone working on a high-profile movie or TV show these days dreads seeing two words in a script: Exterior shot. Filming a hot project at an outdoor location has become a swim in a giant, incredibly public fishbowl. Of all the battlefronts in the spoiler wars, location shoots are the places where filmmakers and show creators feel the most exposed, the most overtly under siege and maybe the most powerless to plug leaks.

Even so, interlopers crashed the party wherever Crystal Skull went. Somebody in a helicopter possibly just a lucky tourist on a joyride, who was passing through airspace the Skull crew couldn’t control snapped shots of a Hawaii-based jungle sequence from above. Plot spoiling amateur videos of a motorcycle-chase scene filmed in New Haven, Conn., also showed up online, thanks to onlookers posting footage.

No matter how distant the location, it seems, those pesky snappers find a way in. A few weeks into the shoot of Iron Man, in March 2007, work was about to start at an extremely remote desert canyon spot in a gated national park near Lone Pine, Calif. More than three hours’ drive outside Los Angeles.

Barren and desolate looking, this spot would stand in for Afghanistan in a sequence where Tony Stark, played by Robert Downey Jr., gets kidnapped by terrorists. Somehow, photographers found the waiting set. They commandeered a vantage point in the hills above, and got telephoto-lens pictures of the faux terrorist encampment, including weapon containers marked Stark Industries. The images showed up on a fansite before any of the sequence had even been filmed.

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The best in film this spring

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

April’s riches include Son of Rambow (opens 4 April), director Garth Jennings’ nostalgic and delightfully inventive 1980s suburbia story, centring on two schoolboys making a home video - based on Rambo - to send into BBC kids’ show Screen Test. They find a lead actor for their big DIY action flick when the French exchange group arrives.On 11 April, George Clooney takes his serious political hat off and replaces it with a cloth cap to direct and star in Leatherheads, a 1920s romcom about the beginnings of America’s pro-football league. George is the rallying coach, Ren%26eacute;e Zellweger the firebrand local news reporter determined to uncover the mystery behind the team’s latest hero.Sally Hawkins scooped best actress at the Berlin Film Festival for her winning performance at the heart of Mike Leigh’s latest character comedy, Happy-Go-Lucky (18 April). She plays a north London girl who gets wrecked with her mates at night but is a caring schoolteacher by day. Eddie Marsan is terrific as a moody cabbie.Nearly a year after having its premiere in competition at Cannes, Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi’s beautiful adaptation of her own comic strip, arrives in cinemas on 11 April. The story of a girl growing up in the bewildering early days of Ayatollah Khomeini in Tehran, it was surprisingly France’s official Oscar entry but featured only in the animated category - where it lost out to RatatouilleThe month of May brings perhaps the most surprising mainstream casting ever: Robert Downey Jr playing a superhero, albeit (supposedly) one of the most intelligent superheroes ever: Iron Man - aka genius inventor Tony Stark. Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges and Terence Howard co-star, Samuel L Jackson has a cameo and Jon Favreau (Swingers, Elf) directs, so it could be fun (2 May).Cassandra’s Dream, Woody Allen’s third London film (after Match Point and the still unreleased Scoop), finds him on doom-laden, tragic form, as two cockney brothers (played by Scot Ewan McGregor and Dubliner Colin Farrell) enter into an immoral pact on behalf of rich uncle Tom Wilkinson. Sally Hawkins (again) steals the show, Hayley Atwell is a femme fatale. There’s a hint of late masterpiece about it. Opens 9 May.Good idea or potential disaster? Like Rocky and Rambo before him, Indiana Jones, played by 65-year-old Harrison Ford, left, comes out of retirement on 22 May in a film directed by Steven Spielberg and (partly) penned by George ‘You might be able to write this shit but you sure as hell can’t say it’ Lucas. With Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett and Alan Dale joining the old gang, we’re surely entitled to ask: whose pension, exactly, is this?Sex and the city Brazenly following in the Manolo-shod footsteps of The Devil Wears Prada, the four girls from the fab TV show Sex and the City attempt a perilous journey to the big screen. Seasoned TV director Michael Patrick King is on the job while originator Candace Bushnell script-advises. Whether it’s any good is irrelevant. Its purpose? To provide more sartorial and largely inaccurate relationship advice for women the world over by tying up a few loose ends in the lives and loves of four middle-aged, oversexed New York women. When SATC (as it’s known among fans) ended in 2004, PR Samantha had a lover and cancer, curator Charlotte and lawyer Miranda were both married, and perpetually single columnist Carrie was snogging Mr Big in la belle Paris. Four different endings have been shot in a bid to prevent Big and Carrie’s marital showdown being leaked in advance. The film looks set to break some box-office records. Expect to queue.Sex and the City: The Movie opens on 29 May

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The best in the arts this spring

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

April’s riches include Son of Rambow (opens 4 April), director Garth Jennings’ nostalgic and delightfully inventive 1980s suburbia story, centring on two schoolboys making a home video - based on Rambo - to send into BBC kids’ show Screen Test. They find a lead actor for their big DIY action flick when the French exchange group arrives.On 11 April, George Clooney takes his serious political hat off and replaces it with a cloth cap to direct and star in Leatherheads, a 1920s romcom about the beginnings of America’s pro-football league. George is the rallying coach, Ren%26eacute;e Zellweger the firebrand local news reporter determined to uncover the mystery behind the team’s latest hero.Sally Hawkins scooped best actress at the Berlin Film Festival for her winning performance at the heart of Mike Leigh’s latest character comedy, Happy-Go-Lucky (18 April). She plays a north London girl who gets wrecked with her mates at night but is a caring schoolteacher by day. Eddie Marsan is terrific as a moody cabbie.Nearly a year after having its premiere in competition at Cannes, Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi’s beautiful adaptation of her own comic strip, arrives in cinemas on 11 April. The story of a girl growing up in the bewildering early days of Ayatollah Khomeini in Tehran, it was surprisingly France’s official Oscar entry but featured only in the animated category - where it lost out to RatatouilleThe month of May brings perhaps the most surprising mainstream casting ever: Robert Downey Jr playing a superhero, albeit (supposedly) one of the most intelligent superheroes ever: Iron Man - aka genius inventor Tony Stark. Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges and Terence Howard co-star, Samuel L Jackson has a cameo and Jon Favreau (Swingers, Elf) directs, so it could be fun (2 May).Cassandra’s Dream, Woody Allen’s third London film (after Match Point and the still unreleased Scoop), finds him on doom-laden, tragic form, as two cockney brothers (played by Scot Ewan McGregor and Dubliner Colin Farrell) enter into an immoral pact on behalf of rich uncle Tom Wilkinson. Sally Hawkins (again) steals the show, Hayley Atwell is a femme fatale. There’s a hint of late masterpiece about it. Opens 9 May.Good idea or potential disaster? Like Rocky and Rambo before him, Indiana Jones, played by 65-year-old Harrison Ford, left, comes out of retirement on 22 May in a film directed by Steven Spielberg and (partly) penned by George ‘You might be able to write this shit but you sure as hell can’t say it’ Lucas. With Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett and Alan Dale joining the old gang, we’re surely entitled to ask: whose pension, exactly, is this?Sex and the city Brazenly following in the Manolo-shod footsteps of The Devil Wears Prada, the four girls from the fab TV show Sex and the City attempt a perilous journey to the big screen. Seasoned TV director Michael Patrick King is on the job while originator Candace Bushnell script-advises. Whether it’s any good is irrelevant. Its purpose? To provide more sartorial and largely inaccurate relationship advice for women the world over by tying up a few loose ends in the lives and loves of four middle-aged, oversexed New York women. When SATC (as it’s known among fans) ended in 2004, PR Samantha had a lover and cancer, curator Charlotte and lawyer Miranda were both married, and perpetually single columnist Carrie was snogging Mr Big in la belle Paris.

Four different endings have been shot in a bid to prevent Big and Carrie’s marital showdown being leaked in advance. The film looks set to break some box-office records. Expect to queue.Sex and the City: The Movie opens on 29 May Art Tate Liverpool plays host to Britain’s biggest-ever Klimt exhibitionGustav Klimt How much sensuality can you take? Klimt offers the greatest overload in the history of art. The rich mix is his forte: nudes kissing, lounging, yearning, coupling against a world of gold leaf and jewel-bright colours, a hint of spirituality here balanced by luxurious sexuality there. He is the master of consumption, material and sensual, and by now the very epitome of decadent fin-de-siecle Vienna. But he only caught on worldwide in the Sixties and this belated show is the first comprehensive survey ever staged in Britain. From Salome to The Golden Knight, paintings from all stages of Klimt’s life will be on display: sink into proto-psychedelic opulence. Gustav Klimt, Tate Liverpool, 30 %26#8239;May-31 AugustAlso arriving in Liverpool this spring are some of the biggest names in modern painting: Edouard Manet, Claude Monet, Vincent van Gogh, Camille Pissarro and Edward Hopper in a show at the Walker Art Gallery (18 April-10 August) devoted to Art in the Age of Steam. There will be trains, certainly - think of Hopper’s locomotives disappearing across the prairie - but the focus is on the art of industrial cities: Paris, New York, London, from the birth of the railways until the 1960s.You might think Alberto Giacometti oversold, but in fact there hasn’t been a British show in decades. This one, at the beautiful gallery of Compton Verney in Warwickshire (until 1 June) looks at the sudden development of his thin men in the months following the armistice in 1945. Expect many classics, plus rare portraits, among others, of Jean Genet.Tate Modern’s big spring show is a colossal survey of 20th-century portraiture - Street and Studio: An Urban History of Photography (22 May-31 August) - highly posed indoors, casually snapped on the streets outside. All the master- and mistress- photographers of the century will be represented, from Cartier-Bresson, Arbus and Beaton to Mapplethorpe, Tillmans and Sherman. It all adds up to one in the eye for the NPG.And for anyone more interested in places than people, Modern Art Oxford is celebrating the magical landscapes of the father of American photography, Ansel Adams (2 April-1 June). From the soaring monoliths of Yosemite by moonlight to the ice lakes of Alaska, 70 images of the sublime will represent a career of 50 years.Theatre Tomorrow is another day - and Vanessa Redgrave is Joan DidionGone with the Wind Gone With the Wind, as a musical, has everything going for it. And unless the wind is coming in from the wrong direction, Trevor Nunn’s new adaptation (opening 22 April, New London Theatre) could blow audiences off their feet. Darius Danesh (of Pop Idol) plays Rhett Butler and Jill Paice (who starred in The Woman in White) is Scarlett O’Hara. A Glaswegian Rhett might give you pause for thought but Danesh looks the part (suave ‘n’ dark) and his voice should hit the spot. The ingredients of this tempestuous epic, set in 1860s Atlanta Georgia, never fail: it’s a romantic rollercoaster, America’s sentimental answer to War and Peace. The 1936 novel won its author, Margaret Mitchell, the Pulitzer prize, the movie broke box-office records and this show, with Gareth Valentine at the musical helm, looks like a ticket worth securing before the show goes into preview on 4 April.Yasmina Reza, who wrote Art, has a new play, God of Carnage, on at the Gielgud (opens 24 March). It’s about two couples who meet to discuss a scrap between their children. The warring quartet is high-profile: Ralph Fiennes, Tamsin Greig, Janet McTeer and Ken Stott. It will be fascinating to watch them slug it out. Meanwhile, Howard Brenton also has a new play, Never So Good, coming to the National. It takes in the Suez crisis, adultery and the end of empire. Jeremy Irons plays Harold Macmillan and the cast also includes Anna Carteret and Anna Chancellor (Lyttleton, 26 March-24 May).In April, architecturally inspired company dreamthinkspeak perform a work in the hidden areas of Liverpool’s Anglican Cathedral. One Step Forward, One Step Back draws on Dante’s Paradiso and the city’s landscape, using film, installation, models and live performance (7 April-10 May). A different kind of exploration is involved in poet Tony Harrison’s new play, Fram. It’s about the Norwegian voyager Fridtjof Nansen, who travelled in the Arctic during the 1890s. It promises to bring ice floes, bear-fur sleeping bags and the ghosts of pioneers to the Olivier. Jasper Britton is to play Nansen and Bob Crowley directs (with help from Harrison himself). Previews from 17 April; ends 22 May. And there is another not-to-be-missed chance to catch the National Theatre of Scotland’s tremendous Black Watch, by Gregory Burke, based on interviews with soldiers who served in Iraq. This is an extraordinary piece about what it takes to be part of the ‘War on Terror’. The show comes to England for the first time as part of a UK-wide tour which culminates at the Barbican (20 June-26 July).For those who require musical relief, there is a treat in store. The team behind Les Mis%26eacute;rables (Michel Legrand, Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Sch%26ouml;nberg and Herbert Kretzmer) open the highly anticipated Marguerite, based on La Dame aux Cam%26eacute;lias, but set in occupied Paris. It stars Ruthie Henshall and Julian Ovenden and is the crowd-pleasing last production in Jonathan Kent’s season at the Theatre Royal Haymarket.But it is probably the National’s The Year of Magical Thinking that will (after Gone With the Wind) be the hottest ticket of the season. Vanessa Redgrave reprises her solo Broadway success in Joan Didion’s adaptation of her bestselling memoir, describing her life after the sudden death of John Gregory Dunne, her husband of 40 years. David Hare directs. At the Lyttelton (25 April-20 May).Classical From monsters to Punch, it spells boomtime for BirtwistleLost Highway David Lynch’s 1997 psychological thriller Lost Highway, his exploration of dislocation and desire via the troubled mind of jazz musician Fred Madison, might seem an unlikely candidate for conversion to opera. In its passionate mission to win new audiences for contemporary music-theatre, however, English National Opera has daringly done just that in an imaginative collaboration with the Young Vic designed to become an annual event. ‘A seething combination of sound and image’ is promised as off-Broadway director Diane Paulus adds state-of-the-art extra dimensions such as video footage and surround-sound to 40-year-old Austrian composer Olga Neuwirth’s score.Lost Highway, Young Vic, London SE1, 4-11 AprilA strong season for contemporary music continues in Birmingham on 14 April, when Oliver Knussen conducts the Birmingham Contemporary Music Group in Good Dream She Has, a new setting of texts from Milton’s Paradise Lost by British composer Luke Bedford (CBSO Centre, Birmingham). The following evening sees the Royal Opera stage the world premiere of Harrison Birtwistle’s The Minotaur. Starring John Tomlinson as a monster in search of his identity, it is conducted by Antonio Pappano (Covent Garden, 15 April-3 May).Four days later, in another joint venture with the Young Vic, ENO mounts a new production of Birtwistle’s controversial early work, Punch and Judy, tantalisingly billed as ‘not suitable for under-16s’. This will be the second production of this potent piece in a month, with Music Theatre Wales launching its version at the Linbury Studio Theatre tomorrow.English National Opera returns to more traditional fare with Lehar’s The Merry Widow, in a new staging by veteran John Copley (after the withdrawal of the Southbank’s Jude Kelly), with a cast led by Amanda Roocroft, Alfie Boe and Roy Hudd (Coliseum, London WC2, 26 April-30 May). Glyndebourne’s season opens on 18 May with hot young soprano Danielle de Niese, last year’s show-stealing Cleopatra, as Monteverdi’s version of Nero’s unfaithful empress in L’incoronazione di Poppea, directed by contentious Canadian Robert Carsen (18 May-4 July).Pop Back to basics with minimalist boy-girl duoThe Ting Tings Pop music is far too important to be left to anodyne pop bands. Step forward the Ting Tings, a sunny boy-girl duo from the dour rehearsal spaces of Salford, Greater Manchester. He: Jules De Martino, drums. She: Katie White, sings and plays rudimentary guitar. Some machines flesh out the rest. There’s not much to them and that’s the beauty of it. The Ting Tings’ music is a sassy playground taunt aimed at the dancefloor. Their opening salvo, last year’s infectious demo of ‘That’s Not My Name’, announced an outfit in thrall to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Toni Basil, both righteous and breezy. Their debut album, We Started Nothing, is due out on 19 May. Spring has officially sprung.With a loud, fast new album, Accelerate, REM have just announced summer festival and stadium dates. A gig at the Royal Albert Hall, London, on 24 March, kicks off a season of high-octane action.Ten years since their last (live) album, prodigal heroes Portishead are back with a glowering new one, Third, and a generous European tour (9-17 April). It really has been worth the wait.Last year’s Volta album was Bj%26ouml;rk’s most powerful in years. Her 18-month worldwide jaunt comes to Manchester Apollo on 11 April, bringing with it the usual carnival of unbridled creativity, an all-female brass section and a thumping great urgency (nationwide tour, until 4 May).In the second half of April, Indigo2, London, hosts a brainstorm of eclectic gigs from classy promoters Eat Your Own Ears. Four Tet and Sunburned Hand of the Man (24th), Wu-Tang Clan’s RZA playing as Bobby Digital (28th) and dance label Kompakt celebrating their 15th year (27th) are among the thrills in store.’Progressive patriot’ Billy Bragg is reclaiming St George’s Day from right-wingers. He’s headlining Still Looking for a New England, an alternative celebration of words and music at the Barbican Hall, London, on 23 April.From George to Gilbert: Brazilian guitar maestro Gilberto Gil brings his politically charged songs to the Barbican, London, on 31 March for a welcome one-off solo show.Led Zeppelin fans should indulge in the most gorgeous music that Robert Plant has made in ages, as he merges his voice with bluegrass singer Alison Krauss on a series of elegant covers. Birmingham, Manchester and Cardiff are blessed from 5-8 May, with a final show at Wembley Arena on 22 May.All Tomorrow’s Parties returns to its spiritual home at Camber Sands, East Sussex, on 9-11 May. Webziners Pitchfork curate and Hot Chip, the Hold Steady and Vampire Weekend all play. A second weekend, at Butlins Minehead (16-18 May) is curated by Explosions in the SkyFulfilling boyhood dreams, Kaiser Chiefs have hired their beloved Leeds United’s ground, Elland Road, for a one-day megagig on 24 May. Supports include Kate Nash and the Enemy; more will be announced.Troubled diva Liza Minnelli curtailed her tour last December, after she collapsed at the end of a gig in Gothenburg, Sweden. As befits a showbiz superstar, the show carries on in May. Minnelli plays three nights at the Coliseum, London (from 25 May), before heading across the UK.Finally, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band bring their Magic tour to Arsenal’s Emirates Stadium (30-31 May); Manchester (28) and Cardiff (14 June) are the other pitstops.New albums are coming from Mariah Carey (14 April) and Madonna (28 April), but look out for the Last Shadow Puppets, Arctic Monkeys frontman Alex Turner’s side project (21 April), as well as new music from Spiritualized (19 May).Dance Buddhist monks meet Bruce Lee, plus an electric new work from Wayne McGregorSutra In 2005, Flemish-Moroccan choreographer Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui created the acclaimed Zero Degrees with dancer-choreographer Akram Khan and sculptor Antony Gormley. His new work, Sutra, which features 17 Buddhist warrior-monks from the Shaolin temple in China, reunites him with Gormley, who has constructed an environment for the piece. Both men are fascinated by Buddhism and its expression through kung fu, and their ideas are drawn together to a new score by Szymon Brzoska. Cherkaoui also performs Myth at the same venue, 16-17 May.Sutra, Sadler’s Wells, London EC1, 27-31 MaySadler’s Wells also has the pick of April’s dance events, starting with a season by the highly regarded Nederlands Dans Theater. With works by Jiri Kylian and Leon/Lightfoot, you can count on jaw-dropping production values and thoroughbred dance action. Whether the result adds up to numinous dance-theatre or pretentious spectacle is for you to decide (2-5 April). The following week, Wayne McGregor premieres Entity, a major new piece for Random Dance, set to music by Bj%26ouml;rk collaborator Nico Muhly and electronic master Jon Hopkins. For fans of visceral new dance, this will be one of the season’s hottest tickets.Something chillier on the other side of the Thames, meanwhile, as Maresa von Stockert presents her new piece, Glacier, which will be danced in a world of melting ice and falling snow (Queen Elizabeth Hall, 10, 11 April). In May, hoping to excise memories of its catastrophic 2006 visit orchestrated by Valery Gergiev, St Petersburg’s Kirov Ballet returns to these shores with a shining parcel of classics. Three programmes feature Balanchine’s Jewels, Don Quixote, and a gala night (13-17 May, Lowry, Manchester, 20-24 May Hippodrome, Birmingham).Finally, a promising dance programme at this year’s Brighton Festival includes Ballet National de Marseille’s UK premiere of Metamorphoses (Concert Hall, 3-4 May), and a triple-bill of aerial dance-theatre from Lindsey Butcher’s Gravity and Levity (Corn Exchange, 12-14 May; also touring).TV Alan Sugar and other treatsGossip Girl Blair and Serena used to be BFFs (Best Friends Forever), but then Serena left Manhattan under mysterious circumstances. Now she’s back in New York and hoping to start over, but there’s just one problem: with Blair as your frenemy there’s nowhere to hide. Welcome to Gossip Girl, the teen drama to end all teen dramas and the guiltiest pleasure of the season. Based on the bestselling novels, the funny, frivolous Gossip Girl is a Devil Wears Prada for the prep-school set, with eye candy in the shape of the three male leads, a love story from across the tracks and some of the wittiest putdowns around. Yes, it might be frivolous, but as the anonymous Gossip Girl herself says: ‘You know you love me.’ You may not want to, but in the end you will.Gossip Girl starts 27 March, 9pm, ITV2 The Apprentice is back for a fourth series (BBC1, 26 March) with 16 new egos lining up to feel the force of Sir Alan’s boardroom bark. The usual heady mix of arrogance, incompetence and desperation is assured, but can anyone match the panto presence of Katie Hopkins?Perking things up after the winter glut of costume dramas, Alexander McCall Smith’s The No 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency is a gentle Easter treat for all the family. The Anthony Minghella-Richard Curtis screenplay has soul singer Jill Scott in the lead and comes complete with meerkats, stunning Botswanan landscape and a hilarious cameo from David Oyelowo. (BBC1, Easter Sunday).US hit Dirty Sexy Money (C4, 21 March) promises lots of frothy, flippant fun. A smart send-up of celebrity and the super-rich, it stars Peter Krause (Six Feet Under) as a lawyer with values persuaded by property magnate Tripp Darling (Donald Sutherland) to represent his repulsive family.Julie Walters battles against BBC director-general Hugh Carleton Greene (Hugh Bonneville) in Filth: The Mary Whitehouse Story as the moral crusader holding back a tide of sin and depravity in Britain (BBC2).Throughout spring, BBC4 winds back 700 years to uncover religion, monarchy, architecture and the arts in a special Medieval Season. Highlights include Stephen Fry on the Gutenberg press (April), and Simon Russell Beale examining sacred music (21 March).All our American favourites are back, with the fourth season of Desperate Housewives (C4, 26 March) leading the pack, plus House and Grey’s Anatomy (both five, 20 March), Heroes (BBC2, April), Brothers and Sisters (E4, April) and My Name is Earl (C4, 20 March). Finally, the great British stalwart that is Doctor Who, returns in April (BBC1).

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Getting lost in the plot

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

Michael Idato celebrates our favourite soap opera twists
that continue to defy belief.
NO STRANGER to a nail-biting cliffhanger, Summer Bay’s perennial
innocent Sally Fletcher (Kate Ritchie) explains to her daughter,
Pippa, the imaginary friend she once had, while a young man further
down the beach scratches a word in the sand %26#151; “Milco”. The
implication %26#151; that this stranger, played by Josh Quong Tart,
is Sally’s imaginary friend Milco in the flesh %26#151; might seem
ludicrous but in a soap opera anything is possible. And if, when
the series returns next week, we learn Milco is real, then Home
And Away will have delivered a twist equal to the genre’s
best.
Dallas is but a dream
Dallas, 1986

While the “Who Shot JR?” episode was the
defining moment in the history of the 1980s supersoap
Dallas %26#151; we will come to that in a moment %26#151; it was
the 1986 finale that floored the audience, as the very dead Bobby
Ewing turned up in widow Pam’s shower. The stunt was a surprise to
the cast, including Victoria Principal who had actually filmed the
scene with another actor, completely unaware the producers intended
to slip Patrick Duffy’s Bobby Ewing back in. Such stuff as dreams
are made of? Perhaps for Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night’s
Dream but for Dallas it was the beginning of the end as fans,
angry an entire season had been written off as a “dream”, began to
abandon the TV juggernaut.
Duck Aldo, there’s a bomb in the Carnation Milk
Number 96, 1975

Plot twists come in many shapes and sizes %26#151; some are
cliffhangers, and others the coup de grace of long-term story arcs.
The bomb that gutted the ground floor of Sydney’s most infamous
apartment block was neither but rather a mid-year attempt by the
producers to shed some old characters and re-invigorate audience
interest. A warning note is delivered to the empty flat of Vera
Collins (Elaine Lee) but remains undiscovered until it’s too late.
When the dust settled, Les (Gordon McDougall), Aldo (Johnny
Lockwood), Roma (Philippa Baker) and Miles (Scott Lambert) had gone
to meet their maker.
Pat the Rat is Belinda Giblin?
Sons %26amp; Daughters, 1985

With her world caving in around her and actress Rowena Wallace
firm in her decision to walk away from a top-rating show and a
much-hated (and loved) character, Australia’s resident TV super
bitch Patricia Hamilton did the only thing women of her time and
style did %26#151; she put on her best wistful expression and boarded
a plane for South America, where she checked into one of those
ubiquitous plastic surgery clinics in Rio de Janeiro and she
returns as Belinda Giblin? Pat the Rat Mark II used the
alias Alison Carr until her true identity was unmasked, and the
producers %26#151; in a late moment of insanity %26#151; brought
Wallace back, to play her own former alter-ego’s twin sister,
Pamela, no less.
Fallon is kidnapped by a UFO
The Colbys, 1987

Scriptwriters typically use the props of the fictional universes
they create %26#151; secrets in Peyton Place, guns in The
Sopranos and shoulderpads (and stock certificates) in
Dynasty. And then along came The Colbys where, after
two years of predictably over-the-top storylines ranging from a
long-lost son, an amnesiac wife and a battle to control an oil
pipeline, the producers decided to bow out by borrowing an idea
from Star Trek. Colby daughter-in-law Fallon (Emma Samms)
sped down a lonely freeway, broke down and, as she was dialling
America’s answer to the RACV, looked up into the night sky and saw
a UFO landing. Kidnapped by aliens? Well, it sure beats finding out
a whole year of your life was a dream.
With this AK-47, I thee wed
Dynasty, 1985

Undoubtedly spurred on by the success Number 96 had when
it tried to knock off the entire cast in its infamous bomb blast,
the producers of Dynasty were clearly either drunk, deranged
or just plain dumb when they hatched the twist to end all twists
%26#151; Carrington daughter Amanda (Catherine Oxenberg) joins the
Eurotrash set by marrying Prince Michael of Moldavia, an oil-rich
(fictional) eastern European monarchy and, as the two exchange
vows, those pesky nationalists rise in revolution and spray the
congregation with machinegun fire. Luckily for the Carringtons, the
Moldavian army skipped target practice %26#151; and everyone, except
for two bit players, survived.
Which one of you bitches is my mother?
Lace, 1984

Three schoolgirls at the Swiss boarding school L’Hirondelle
%26#151; English Pagan Trelowney (Brooke Adams), American Judy Hale
(Bess Armstrong) and French woman Maxine Pascal (Arielle Dombasle)
%26#151; discover that one of them is in, er, the motherly way, and
decide to protect the mum-to-be by sharing the blame. A quick trip
to the creepy Dr Geneste and everything is taken care of
until the abandoned baby grows up to become the late 1970s version
of Paris Hilton. A couple of porn films later, sex siren Lili
(Phoebe Cates) has gathered all three women together, where she
utters the now iconic line: “Which one of you bitches is my
mother?” (It was, in case your memory is failing you, Judy.)
Charlie Cousens falls out of the silo
Bellbird, 1968

In the early days of soap, Australia’s genteel sensibilities
required kid-glove treatment %26#151; characters waved goodbye, moved
to the next town, or, in a worst-case scenario, went to Brisbane,
never to return. Until Bellbird’s resident shady real estate
agent Charlie Cousens (Robin Ramsay) met a grisly end down the side
of a wheat silo, sending shockwaves through the local community
%26#151; a picture postcard assembly of loveable yokels, including
Jim (Carl Bleazby), Joe (Terry Norris), Olive (Moira Charleton),
Fiona (Gerda Nicolson) and Lori (Elspeth Ballantyne).
Roman is John is Roman is Chris?
Days of Our Lives, 1981-present

Salem’s resident cop and all-round good guy Roman Augustus Brady
was played by actor Wayne Northrop from 1981-84, until he was shot
by super villain Stefano diMera (Joseph
Mascolo). Or was he? Roman returned with the alias John Black,
played by Drake Hogestyn, from 1986-91. Or was he? The real Roman
was found in a prison cell, heralding the return of Northrop to the
role from 1991-94. Confused yet?
Well, it all comes unstuck in 1997 when the producers hire Josh
Taylor to play the role, despite the fact that Taylor played Chris
Kositchek in the same show, between 1977-87.
Watch out, the homeless girl has a knife!
Soapdish, 1991

Neither a TV show, nor a serious soap, Soapdish was a
feature film that satirised the genre with brilliant characters
%26#151; jaded diva Celeste Talbert (Sally Field), scheming producer
David Seaton Barnes (Robert Downey jnr) and ambitious bit player
Montana Moorehead (Cathy Moriarty). Barnes brings back Celeste’s
ex-lover Jeffrey Anderson (Kevin Kline), whose return sets the
stage for a moment of pure soap %26#151; the young girl playing the
destitute knife-wielding homeless girl (Elizabeth Shue) is actually
their long-lost daughter. The film mines every cliche of the genre,
finishing in a live-to-air episode of truly soap operatic
proportions.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Related posts

Getting lost in the plot

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

Michael Idato celebrates our favourite soap opera twists
that continue to defy belief.
NO STRANGER to a nail-biting cliffhanger, Summer Bay’s perennial
innocent Sally Fletcher (Kate Ritchie) explains to her daughter,
Pippa, the imaginary friend she once had, while a young man further
down the beach scratches a word in the sand %26#151; “Milco”. The
implication %26#151; that this stranger, played by Josh Quong Tart,
is Sally’s imaginary friend Milco in the flesh %26#151; might seem
ludicrous but in a soap opera anything is possible. And if, when
the series returns next week, we learn Milco is real, then Home
And Away will have delivered a twist equal to the genre’s
best.
Dallas is but a dream
Dallas, 1986

While the “Who Shot JR?” episode was the
defining moment in the history of the 1980s supersoap
Dallas %26#151; we will come to that in a moment %26#151; it was
the 1986 finale that floored the audience, as the very dead Bobby
Ewing turned up in widow Pam’s shower. The stunt was a surprise to
the cast, including Victoria Principal who had actually filmed the
scene with another actor, completely unaware the producers intended
to slip Patrick Duffy’s Bobby Ewing back in. Such stuff as dreams
are made of? Perhaps for Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night’s
Dream but for Dallas it was the beginning of the end as fans,
angry an entire season had been written off as a “dream”, began to
abandon the TV juggernaut.
Duck Aldo, there’s a bomb in the Carnation Milk
Number 96, 1975

Plot twists come in many shapes and sizes %26#151; some are
cliffhangers, and others the coup de grace of long-term story arcs.
The bomb that gutted the ground floor of Sydney’s most infamous
apartment block was neither but rather a mid-year attempt by the
producers to shed some old characters and re-invigorate audience
interest. A warning note is delivered to the empty flat of Vera
Collins (Elaine Lee) but remains undiscovered until it’s too late.
When the dust settled, Les (Gordon McDougall), Aldo (Johnny
Lockwood), Roma (Philippa Baker) and Miles (Scott Lambert) had gone
to meet their maker.
Pat the Rat is Belinda Giblin?
Sons %26amp; Daughters, 1985

With her world caving in around her and actress Rowena Wallace
firm in her decision to walk away from a top-rating show and a
much-hated (and loved) character, Australia’s resident TV super
bitch Patricia Hamilton did the only thing women of her time and
style did %26#151; she put on her best wistful expression and boarded
a plane for South America, where she checked into one of those
ubiquitous plastic surgery clinics in Rio de Janeiro and she
returns as Belinda Giblin? Pat the Rat Mark II used the
alias Alison Carr until her true identity was unmasked, and the
producers %26#151; in a late moment of insanity %26#151; brought
Wallace back, to play her own former alter-ego’s twin sister,
Pamela, no less.
Fallon is kidnapped by a UFO
The Colbys, 1987

Scriptwriters typically use the props of the fictional universes
they create %26#151; secrets in Peyton Place, guns in The
Sopranos and shoulderpads (and stock certificates) in
Dynasty. And then along came The Colbys where, after
two years of predictably over-the-top storylines ranging from a
long-lost son, an amnesiac wife and a battle to control an oil
pipeline, the producers decided to bow out by borrowing an idea
from Star Trek. Colby daughter-in-law Fallon (Emma Samms)
sped down a lonely freeway, broke down and, as she was dialling
America’s answer to the RACV, looked up into the night sky and saw
a UFO landing. Kidnapped by aliens? Well, it sure beats finding out
a whole year of your life was a dream.
With this AK-47, I thee wed
Dynasty, 1985

Undoubtedly spurred on by the success Number 96 had when
it tried to knock off the entire cast in its infamous bomb blast,
the producers of Dynasty were clearly either drunk, deranged
or just plain dumb when they hatched the twist to end all twists
%26#151; Carrington daughter Amanda (Catherine Oxenberg) joins the
Eurotrash set by marrying Prince Michael of Moldavia, an oil-rich
(fictional) eastern European monarchy and, as the two exchange
vows, those pesky nationalists rise in revolution and spray the
congregation with machinegun fire. Luckily for the Carringtons, the
Moldavian army skipped target practice %26#151; and everyone, except
for two bit players, survived.
Which one of you bitches is my mother?
Lace, 1984

Three schoolgirls at the Swiss boarding school L’Hirondelle
%26#151; English Pagan Trelowney (Brooke Adams), American Judy Hale
(Bess Armstrong) and French woman Maxine Pascal (Arielle Dombasle)
%26#151; discover that one of them is in, er, the motherly way, and
decide to protect the mum-to-be by sharing the blame. A quick trip
to the creepy Dr Geneste and everything is taken care of
until the abandoned baby grows up to become the late 1970s version
of Paris Hilton. A couple of porn films later, sex siren Lili
(Phoebe Cates) has gathered all three women together, where she
utters the now iconic line: “Which one of you bitches is my
mother?” (It was, in case your memory is failing you, Judy.)
Charlie Cousens falls out of the silo
Bellbird, 1968

In the early days of soap, Australia’s genteel sensibilities
required kid-glove treatment %26#151; characters waved goodbye, moved
to the next town, or, in a worst-case scenario, went to Brisbane,
never to return. Until Bellbird’s resident shady real estate
agent Charlie Cousens (Robin Ramsay) met a grisly end down the side
of a wheat silo, sending shockwaves through the local community
%26#151; a picture postcard assembly of loveable yokels, including
Jim (Carl Bleazby), Joe (Terry Norris), Olive (Moira Charleton),
Fiona (Gerda Nicolson) and Lori (Elspeth Ballantyne).
Roman is John is Roman is Chris?
Days of Our Lives, 1981-present

Salem’s resident cop and all-round good guy Roman Augustus Brady
was played by actor Wayne Northrop from 1981-84, until he was shot
by super villain Stefano diMera (Joseph
Mascolo). Or was he? Roman returned with the alias John Black,
played by Drake Hogestyn, from 1986-91. Or was he? The real Roman
was found in a prison cell, heralding the return of Northrop to the
role from 1991-94. Confused yet?
Well, it all comes unstuck in 1997 when the producers hire Josh
Taylor to play the role, despite the fact that Taylor played Chris
Kositchek in the same show, between 1977-87.
Watch out, the homeless girl has a knife!
Soapdish, 1991

Neither a TV show, nor a serious soap, Soapdish was a
feature film that satirised the genre with brilliant characters
%26#151; jaded diva Celeste Talbert (Sally Field), scheming producer
David Seaton Barnes (Robert Downey jnr) and ambitious bit player
Montana Moorehead (Cathy Moriarty). Barnes brings back Celeste’s
ex-lover Jeffrey Anderson (Kevin Kline), whose return sets the
stage for a moment of pure soap %26#151; the young girl playing the
destitute knife-wielding homeless girl (Elizabeth Shue) is actually
their long-lost daughter. The film mines every cliche of the genre,
finishing in a live-to-air episode of truly soap operatic
proportions.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Related posts

Indy, Bond, Trek, Batman: Movies coming in 2008

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

Thanks to the long lead time for big-screen productions, the
2008 film schedule will go on largely uninterrupted despite the
writers strike.
With a solid range of prospects, the 2008 lineup offers plenty
of intriguing questions.
Can Harrison Ford’s Indiana Jones still throw a punch? Is Harry
Potter looking ahead to the senior prom now that he’s in his
next-to-last year at Hogwarts? Will Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto
live long and prosper as the Trek world’s new Kirk and Spock?
And just what have perpetually lovelorn writer Carrie Bradshaw
and her gal pals been up to since Sex and the City went
off the air in 2004?
Sarah Jessica Parker, who reprises the role in New Line Cinema’s
upcoming big-screen adaptation of Sex and the City, is not
at liberty to say.
“I was given a pill by New Line, and it erased my short-term
memory. They took away my script,” said Parker, who rejoins
castmates Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon.
Coyness over plot points is an epidemic this time of year as
stars and filmmakers look ahead to their big releases. In the age
of internet spoilers, everyone wants to keep as much as they can
secret so fans don’t go into the theatre already quoting the
script.
Continuing the story of Bruce Wayne after Batman
Begins, director Christopher Nolan bluntly said “you’ll need
to see the movie” if you want to know what Christian Bale’s
tragedy-torn superhero is up to.
Nolan does offer an answer to the obvious question: Why doesn’t
the latest Batman movie have the word “Batman” in the title?
“In doing a continuation of the story, we didn’t want to give
the impression that it’s just going to be the standard-issue
sequel,” Nolan said of The Dark Knight, due out the US
this northern summer from Warner Bros. “We wanted this to be the
definitive take on who the Dark Knight is and what that represents
and what the meaning of that appellation is.”
The sequel does make good on the tease at the end of Batman
Begins, which set up Bale’s first encounter with his ultimate
nemesis. Heath Ledger plays the Joker, and Nolan promised an
utterly different take from Jack Nicholson’s in 1989’s
Batman.
“The corrupted clown face is built into the icon of the Joker,
but we gave a Francis Bacon spin to it. This corruption, this decay
in the texture of the look itself. It’s grubby. You can almost
imagine what he smells like,” Nolan said.
Fan imaginations have run wild over Paramount’s Indiana
Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the first film
about Ford’s archaeologist-adventurer in 19 years.
Set in 1957, Crystal Skull pits Indy against the Soviets, whose
number includes Cate Blanchett, Ford confirmed. Beyond that, Ford’s
not leaking plot details, including whether new co-star Shia
LaBeouf is Indy’s son or whether Ford shares any romantic moments
with Blanchett.
“They remain true to their characters. There’s a certain tension
between the two, but not a sexual energy,” Ford said cryptically of
his and Blanchett’s characters.
Ford also kept quiet on how Indy reunites with Karen Allen’s
character.
“It’s great to have Karen back,” Ford said. “I can’t really tell
you much, though. It’s a little too early to be saying much more
than what’s already been said, and I don’t want to be the one to
unwrap the Christmas present.”
While it remains a mystery if Ford gets to play LaBeouf’s dad in
the new movie, Indy himself is not reunited with his own father.
Ford was disappointed that Sean Connery, who played Henry Jones Sr
in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, decided not to reprise the
role.
The 65-year-old Ford had a joke worthy of Indy about that: “As I
told Sean, I’m getting old enough to play my own father, so we
don’t need him, anymore.”
Along with Indy, Batman and Carrie, Hollywood offers plenty of
other familiar names this year.
TV’s favourite alien hunters, Mulder and Scully, return for 20th
Century Fox’s as-yet-untitled second X-Files movie, with
David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson reunited with series creator
Chris Carter, who’s directing.
C S Lewis’ sibling heroes are back in Disney’s The
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, with The Lion, the
Witch and the Wardrobe director Andrew Adamson running the
show again and Liam Neeson reprising the voice of talking lion
Aslan.
Daniel Craig has his second outing as 007 in Sony’s
still-untitled James Bond adventure, with Judi Dench returning as
spymaster M and Jeffrey Wright reprising his role as CIA colleague
Felix Leiter.
Agent Maxwell Smart, who started as a Bond spoof on 1960s TV,
comes to the big-screen in the Warner Bros action comedy Get
Smart, with Steve Carell in the title role, Dwayne Johnson as
a superstar operative and Anne Hathaway as Agent 99.
Minus Rachel Weisz, his co-star in the first two Mummy movies,
Brendan Fraser has another go at fighting a resurrected dead guy,
this time an ancient Chinese ruler (Jet Li), in The Mummy: Tomb
of the Dragon Emperor. Frasier also stars in Journey, a 3-D
take on Jules Verne’s sci-fi classic Journey to the Centre of
the Earth.
And Star Trek revisits its roots, with Pine taking over
William Shatner’s role as bold Enterprise Capt James Kirk and
Quinto stepping in as Leonard Nimoy’s Vulcan science officer Spock.
The Paramount film is directed by Lost creator J J
Abrams.
Along with such action and visual-effects spectacles come an
intriguing range of dramatic stories.
Brad Pitt reunites with Babel co-star Blanchett for
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, based on an F Scott
Fitzgerald story about a man who ages backward from old age toward
infancy.
Director Baz Luhrmann reteams with Moulin Rouge star
Nicole Kidman for Australia, co-starring Hugh Jackman in a
tale of a cattle drive down under amid a bombing by Japanese forces
during World War II.
In another World War II saga, Spike Lee directs Miracle at
St Anna, the story of four Americans (Derek Luke, Michael
Ealy, Laz Alonso and Omar Benson Miller) who are part of an
all-black division fighting in Italy at a time when segregation
remained the standard.
“You had the dilemma of these soldiers who really had to battle
on two fronts. They were fighting for their country in a foreign
land, and at the same time, in many parts of the United States,
they were still considered second-class citizens,” Lee said. “This
offers a really rich character study of Negro soldiers going
through that conflict. They want to fight for their country, but
they have to ask: Is this really worth it when I could go back to
Alabama and be lynched?”
Other big 2008 titles: Starship Dave, with Eddie Murphy
playing an entire space craft in a sci-fi comedy about a group of
tiny aliens seeking haven on Earth inside a vessel disguised as a
human; Wall-E, the latest from the animation masters at
Pixar (The Incredibles, Ratatouille), about a
robot left to tend the planet after humanity has left; Speed Racer,
starring Emile Hirsch in a live-action update of the TV cartoon
show, directed by Larry and Andy Wachowski, creators of The
Matrix flicks; The Incredible Hulk, with Edward
Norton the latest incarnation of the scientist with a really angry
alter ego; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,
featuring Daniel Radcliffe and pals in the second-to-last adventure
of the boy wizard; Leatherheads, a 1920s football comedy
directed by and starring George Clooney alongside Renee Zellweger
and John Krasinski; and The Spiderwick Chronicles, a
fantasy based on the children’s books about a mum (Mary-Louise
Parker) and her kids who move into the magical house owned by an
eccentric relation.
Parker was not into fantasy as a child, but Spiderwick
Chronicles allowed her to branch out into the family
genre.
“I did read Narnia, but I was more of a Little
House on the Prairie person. I’m not really a fan of things
flying around, but I always wanted to do a children’s movie, and
this seemed like sort of an atypical fantasy-type thing,” Parker
said. “The children, they weren’t archetypes. They were very unique
and they had some complexity to them. And the mother did, too. She
wasn’t just the perfect mother who was always struggling. She loses
her temper.”
Also coming this year: He’s Just Not That Into You, a
romantic comedy that casts Ben Affleck alongside two Jennifers -
Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Connelly, along with Scarlett
Johansson and Drew Barrymore; Mamma Mia!, featuring Meryl
Streep, Pierce Brosnan and the songs of ABBA in an adaptation of
the stage musical; You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, a comedy
with Adam Sandler as an Israeli commando who fakes his death so he
can become a New York City hairdresser; Step Brothers,
with Will Ferrell and John C Reilly as middle-aged slackers who
suddenly become kin by marriage; Dr Seuss’ Horton Hears a
Who, an animated version of the children’s classic featuring
the voices of Jim Carrey and Steve Carell; Iron Man, with
Robert Downey Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow in a big-screen version of the
comic-book hero; and Madagascar: The Crate Escape, an
animated sequel reteaming the voice cast of Ben Stiller, Chris
Rock, David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett Smith as zoo animals in the
wild.
Pinkett Smith’s husband, Will Smith, returns to the big
box-office date he has owned in the past, starring with Charlize
Theron in the Fourth of July release Hancock, the story of
an alcoholic superhero that he promises will range from crazy
comedy to sober drama to visual spectacle.
AP

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related posts

Getting lost in the plot

Monday, January 28th, 2008

Michael Idato celebrates our favourite soap opera twists
that continue to defy belief.
NO STRANGER to a nail-biting cliffhanger, Summer Bay’s perennial
innocent Sally Fletcher (Kate Ritchie) explains to her daughter,
Pippa, the imaginary friend she once had, while a young man further
down the beach scratches a word in the sand %26#151; “Milco”. The
implication %26#151; that this stranger, played by Josh Quong Tart,
is Sally’s imaginary friend Milco in the flesh %26#151; might seem
ludicrous but in a soap opera anything is possible. And if, when
the series returns next week, we learn Milco is real, then Home
And Away will have delivered a twist equal to the genre’s
best.
Dallas is but a dream
Dallas, 1986

While the “Who Shot JR?” episode was the
defining moment in the history of the 1980s supersoap
Dallas %26#151; we will come to that in a moment %26#151; it was
the 1986 finale that floored the audience, as the very dead Bobby
Ewing turned up in widow Pam’s shower. The stunt was a surprise to
the cast, including Victoria Principal who had actually filmed the
scene with another actor, completely unaware the producers intended
to slip Patrick Duffy’s Bobby Ewing back in. Such stuff as dreams
are made of? Perhaps for Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night’s
Dream but for Dallas it was the beginning of the end as fans,
angry an entire season had been written off as a “dream”, began to
abandon the TV juggernaut.
Duck Aldo, there’s a bomb in the Carnation Milk
Number 96, 1975

Plot twists come in many shapes and sizes %26#151; some are
cliffhangers, and others the coup de grace of long-term story arcs.
The bomb that gutted the ground floor of Sydney’s most infamous
apartment block was neither but rather a mid-year attempt by the
producers to shed some old characters and re-invigorate audience
interest. A warning note is delivered to the empty flat of Vera
Collins (Elaine Lee) but remains undiscovered until it’s too late.
When the dust settled, Les (Gordon McDougall), Aldo (Johnny
Lockwood), Roma (Philippa Baker) and Miles (Scott Lambert) had gone
to meet their maker.
Pat the Rat is Belinda Giblin?
Sons %26amp; Daughters, 1985

With her world caving in around her and actress Rowena Wallace
firm in her decision to walk away from a top-rating show and a
much-hated (and loved) character, Australia’s resident TV super
bitch Patricia Hamilton did the only thing women of her time and
style did %26#151; she put on her best wistful expression and boarded
a plane for South America, where she checked into one of those
ubiquitous plastic surgery clinics in Rio de Janeiro and she
returns as Belinda Giblin? Pat the Rat Mark II used the
alias Alison Carr until her true identity was unmasked, and the
producers %26#151; in a late moment of insanity %26#151; brought
Wallace back, to play her own former alter-ego’s twin sister,
Pamela, no less.
Fallon is kidnapped by a UFO
The Colbys, 1987

Scriptwriters typically use the props of the fictional universes
they create %26#151; secrets in Peyton Place, guns in The
Sopranos and shoulderpads (and stock certificates) in
Dynasty. And then along came The Colbys where, after
two years of predictably over-the-top storylines ranging from a
long-lost son, an amnesiac wife and a battle to control an oil
pipeline, the producers decided to bow out by borrowing an idea
from Star Trek. Colby daughter-in-law Fallon (Emma Samms)
sped down a lonely freeway, broke down and, as she was dialling
America’s answer to the RACV, looked up into the night sky and saw
a UFO landing. Kidnapped by aliens? Well, it sure beats finding out
a whole year of your life was a dream.
With this AK-47, I thee wed
Dynasty, 1985

Undoubtedly spurred on by the success Number 96 had when
it tried to knock off the entire cast in its infamous bomb blast,
the producers of Dynasty were clearly either drunk, deranged
or just plain dumb when they hatched the twist to end all twists
%26#151; Carrington daughter Amanda (Catherine Oxenberg) joins the
Eurotrash set by marrying Prince Michael of Moldavia, an oil-rich
(fictional) eastern European monarchy and, as the two exchange
vows, those pesky nationalists rise in revolution and spray the
congregation with machinegun fire. Luckily for the Carringtons, the
Moldavian army skipped target practice %26#151; and everyone, except
for two bit players, survived.
Which one of you bitches is my mother?
Lace, 1984

Three schoolgirls at the Swiss boarding school L’Hirondelle
%26#151; English Pagan Trelowney (Brooke Adams), American Judy Hale
(Bess Armstrong) and French woman Maxine Pascal (Arielle Dombasle)
%26#151; discover that one of them is in, er, the motherly way, and
decide to protect the mum-to-be by sharing the blame. A quick trip
to the creepy Dr Geneste and everything is taken care of
until the abandoned baby grows up to become the late 1970s version
of Paris Hilton. A couple of porn films later, sex siren Lili
(Phoebe Cates) has gathered all three women together, where she
utters the now iconic line: “Which one of you bitches is my
mother?” (It was, in case your memory is failing you, Judy.)
Charlie Cousens falls out of the silo
Bellbird, 1968

In the early days of soap, Australia’s genteel sensibilities
required kid-glove treatment %26#151; characters waved goodbye, moved
to the next town, or, in a worst-case scenario, went to Brisbane,
never to return. Until Bellbird’s resident shady real estate
agent Charlie Cousens (Robin Ramsay) met a grisly end down the side
of a wheat silo, sending shockwaves through the local community
%26#151; a picture postcard assembly of loveable yokels, including
Jim (Carl Bleazby), Joe (Terry Norris), Olive (Moira Charleton),
Fiona (Gerda Nicolson) and Lori (Elspeth Ballantyne).
Roman is John is Roman is Chris?
Days of Our Lives, 1981-present

Salem’s resident cop and all-round good guy Roman Augustus Brady
was played by actor Wayne Northrop from 1981-84, until he was shot
by super villain Stefano diMera (Joseph
Mascolo). Or was he? Roman returned with the alias John Black,
played by Drake Hogestyn, from 1986-91. Or was he? The real Roman
was found in a prison cell, heralding the return of Northrop to the
role from 1991-94. Confused yet?
Well, it all comes unstuck in 1997 when the producers hire Josh
Taylor to play the role, despite the fact that Taylor played Chris
Kositchek in the same show, between 1977-87.
Watch out, the homeless girl has a knife!
Soapdish, 1991

Neither a TV show, nor a serious soap, Soapdish was a
feature film that satirised the genre with brilliant characters
%26#151; jaded diva Celeste Talbert (Sally Field), scheming producer
David Seaton Barnes (Robert Downey jnr) and ambitious bit player
Montana Moorehead (Cathy Moriarty). Barnes brings back Celeste’s
ex-lover Jeffrey Anderson (Kevin Kline), whose return sets the
stage for a moment of pure soap %26#151; the young girl playing the
destitute knife-wielding homeless girl (Elizabeth Shue) is actually
their long-lost daughter. The film mines every cliche of the genre,
finishing in a live-to-air episode of truly soap operatic
proportions.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Related posts

Getting lost in the plot

Sunday, January 27th, 2008

Michael Idato celebrates our favourite soap opera twists
that continue to defy belief.
NO STRANGER to a nail-biting cliffhanger, Summer Bay’s perennial
innocent Sally Fletcher (Kate Ritchie) explains to her daughter,
Pippa, the imaginary friend she once had, while a young man further
down the beach scratches a word in the sand %26#151; “Milco”. The
implication %26#151; that this stranger, played by Josh Quong Tart,
is Sally’s imaginary friend Milco in the flesh %26#151; might seem
ludicrous but in a soap opera anything is possible. And if, when
the series returns next week, we learn Milco is real, then Home
And Away will have delivered a twist equal to the genre’s
best.
Dallas is but a dream
Dallas, 1986

While the “Who Shot JR?” episode was the
defining moment in the history of the 1980s supersoap
Dallas %26#151; we will come to that in a moment %26#151; it was
the 1986 finale that floored the audience, as the very dead Bobby
Ewing turned up in widow Pam’s shower. The stunt was a surprise to
the cast, including Victoria Principal who had actually filmed the
scene with another actor, completely unaware the producers intended
to slip Patrick Duffy’s Bobby Ewing back in. Such stuff as dreams
are made of? Perhaps for Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night’s
Dream but for Dallas it was the beginning of the end as fans,
angry an entire season had been written off as a “dream”, began to
abandon the TV juggernaut.
Duck Aldo, there’s a bomb in the Carnation Milk
Number 96, 1975

Plot twists come in many shapes and sizes %26#151; some are
cliffhangers, and others the coup de grace of long-term story arcs.
The bomb that gutted the ground floor of Sydney’s most infamous
apartment block was neither but rather a mid-year attempt by the
producers to shed some old characters and re-invigorate audience
interest. A warning note is delivered to the empty flat of Vera
Collins (Elaine Lee) but remains undiscovered until it’s too late.
When the dust settled, Les (Gordon McDougall), Aldo (Johnny
Lockwood), Roma (Philippa Baker) and Miles (Scott Lambert) had gone
to meet their maker.
Pat the Rat is Belinda Giblin?
Sons %26amp; Daughters, 1985

With her world caving in around her and actress Rowena Wallace
firm in her decision to walk away from a top-rating show and a
much-hated (and loved) character, Australia’s resident TV super
bitch Patricia Hamilton did the only thing women of her time and
style did %26#151; she put on her best wistful expression and boarded
a plane for South America, where she checked into one of those
ubiquitous plastic surgery clinics in Rio de Janeiro and she
returns as Belinda Giblin? Pat the Rat Mark II used the
alias Alison Carr until her true identity was unmasked, and the
producers %26#151; in a late moment of insanity %26#151; brought
Wallace back, to play her own former alter-ego’s twin sister,
Pamela, no less.
Fallon is kidnapped by a UFO
The Colbys, 1987

Scriptwriters typically use the props of the fictional universes
they create %26#151; secrets in Peyton Place, guns in The
Sopranos and shoulderpads (and stock certificates) in
Dynasty. And then along came The Colbys where, after
two years of predictably over-the-top storylines ranging from a
long-lost son, an amnesiac wife and a battle to control an oil
pipeline, the producers decided to bow out by borrowing an idea
from Star Trek. Colby daughter-in-law Fallon (Emma Samms)
sped down a lonely freeway, broke down and, as she was dialling
America’s answer to the RACV, looked up into the night sky and saw
a UFO landing. Kidnapped by aliens? Well, it sure beats finding out
a whole year of your life was a dream.
With this AK-47, I thee wed
Dynasty, 1985

Undoubtedly spurred on by the success Number 96 had when
it tried to knock off the entire cast in its infamous bomb blast,
the producers of Dynasty were clearly either drunk, deranged
or just plain dumb when they hatched the twist to end all twists
%26#151; Carrington daughter Amanda (Catherine Oxenberg) joins the
Eurotrash set by marrying Prince Michael of Moldavia, an oil-rich
(fictional) eastern European monarchy and, as the two exchange
vows, those pesky nationalists rise in revolution and spray the
congregation with machinegun fire. Luckily for the Carringtons, the
Moldavian army skipped target practice %26#151; and everyone, except
for two bit players, survived.
Which one of you bitches is my mother?
Lace, 1984

Three schoolgirls at the Swiss boarding school L’Hirondelle
%26#151; English Pagan Trelowney (Brooke Adams), American Judy Hale
(Bess Armstrong) and French woman Maxine Pascal (Arielle Dombasle)
%26#151; discover that one of them is in, er, the motherly way, and
decide to protect the mum-to-be by sharing the blame. A quick trip
to the creepy Dr Geneste and everything is taken care of
until the abandoned baby grows up to become the late 1970s version
of Paris Hilton. A couple of porn films later, sex siren Lili
(Phoebe Cates) has gathered all three women together, where she
utters the now iconic line: “Which one of you bitches is my
mother?” (It was, in case your memory is failing you, Judy.)
Charlie Cousens falls out of the silo
Bellbird, 1968

In the early days of soap, Australia’s genteel sensibilities
required kid-glove treatment %26#151; characters waved goodbye, moved
to the next town, or, in a worst-case scenario, went to Brisbane,
never to return. Until Bellbird’s resident shady real estate
agent Charlie Cousens (Robin Ramsay) met a grisly end down the side
of a wheat silo, sending shockwaves through the local community
%26#151; a picture postcard assembly of loveable yokels, including
Jim (Carl Bleazby), Joe (Terry Norris), Olive (Moira Charleton),
Fiona (Gerda Nicolson) and Lori (Elspeth Ballantyne).
Roman is John is Roman is Chris?
Days of Our Lives, 1981-present

Salem’s resident cop and all-round good guy Roman Augustus Brady
was played by actor Wayne Northrop from 1981-84, until he was shot
by super villain Stefano diMera (Joseph
Mascolo). Or was he? Roman returned with the alias John Black,
played by Drake Hogestyn, from 1986-91. Or was he? The real Roman
was found in a prison cell, heralding the return of Northrop to the
role from 1991-94. Confused yet?
Well, it all comes unstuck in 1997 when the producers hire Josh
Taylor to play the role, despite the fact that Taylor played Chris
Kositchek in the same show, between 1977-87.
Watch out, the homeless girl has a knife!
Soapdish, 1991

Neither a TV show, nor a serious soap, Soapdish was a
feature film that satirised the genre with brilliant characters
%26#151; jaded diva Celeste Talbert (Sally Field), scheming producer
David Seaton Barnes (Robert Downey jnr) and ambitious bit player
Montana Moorehead (Cathy Moriarty). Barnes brings back Celeste’s
ex-lover Jeffrey Anderson (Kevin Kline), whose return sets the
stage for a moment of pure soap %26#151; the young girl playing the
destitute knife-wielding homeless girl (Elizabeth Shue) is actually
their long-lost daughter. The film mines every cliche of the genre,
finishing in a live-to-air episode of truly soap operatic
proportions.

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Indy, Bond, Trek, Batman: Movies coming in 2008

Sunday, January 27th, 2008

Thanks to the long lead time for big-screen productions, the
2008 film schedule will go on largely uninterrupted despite the
writers strike.
With a solid range of prospects, the 2008 lineup offers plenty
of intriguing questions.
Can Harrison Ford’s Indiana Jones still throw a punch? Is Harry
Potter looking ahead to the senior prom now that he’s in his
next-to-last year at Hogwarts? Will Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto
live long and prosper as the Trek world’s new Kirk and Spock?
And just what have perpetually lovelorn writer Carrie Bradshaw
and her gal pals been up to since Sex and the City went
off the air in 2004?
Sarah Jessica Parker, who reprises the role in New Line Cinema’s
upcoming big-screen adaptation of Sex and the City, is not
at liberty to say.
“I was given a pill by New Line, and it erased my short-term
memory. They took away my script,” said Parker, who rejoins
castmates Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon.
Coyness over plot points is an epidemic this time of year as
stars and filmmakers look ahead to their big releases. In the age
of internet spoilers, everyone wants to keep as much as they can
secret so fans don’t go into the theatre already quoting the
script.
Continuing the story of Bruce Wayne after Batman
Begins, director Christopher Nolan bluntly said “you’ll need
to see the movie” if you want to know what Christian Bale’s
tragedy-torn superhero is up to.
Nolan does offer an answer to the obvious question: Why doesn’t
the latest Batman movie have the word “Batman” in the title?
“In doing a continuation of the story, we didn’t want to give
the impression that it’s just going to be the standard-issue
sequel,” Nolan said of The Dark Knight, due out the US
this northern summer from Warner Bros. “We wanted this to be the
definitive take on who the Dark Knight is and what that represents
and what the meaning of that appellation is.”
The sequel does make good on the tease at the end of Batman
Begins, which set up Bale’s first encounter with his ultimate
nemesis. Heath Ledger plays the Joker, and Nolan promised an
utterly different take from Jack Nicholson’s in 1989’s
Batman.
“The corrupted clown face is built into the icon of the Joker,
but we gave a Francis Bacon spin to it. This corruption, this decay
in the texture of the look itself. It’s grubby. You can almost
imagine what he smells like,” Nolan said.
Fan imaginations have run wild over Paramount’s Indiana
Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the first film
about Ford’s archaeologist-adventurer in 19 years.
Set in 1957, Crystal Skull pits Indy against the Soviets, whose
number includes Cate Blanchett, Ford confirmed. Beyond that, Ford’s
not leaking plot details, including whether new co-star Shia
LaBeouf is Indy’s son or whether Ford shares any romantic moments
with Blanchett.
“They remain true to their characters. There’s a certain tension
between the two, but not a sexual energy,” Ford said cryptically of
his and Blanchett’s characters.
Ford also kept quiet on how Indy reunites with Karen Allen’s
character.
“It’s great to have Karen back,” Ford said. “I can’t really tell
you much, though. It’s a little too early to be saying much more
than what’s already been said, and I don’t want to be the one to
unwrap the Christmas present.”
While it remains a mystery if Ford gets to play LaBeouf’s dad in
the new movie, Indy himself is not reunited with his own father.
Ford was disappointed that Sean Connery, who played Henry Jones Sr
in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, decided not to reprise the
role.
The 65-year-old Ford had a joke worthy of Indy about that: “As I
told Sean, I’m getting old enough to play my own father, so we
don’t need him, anymore.”
Along with Indy, Batman and Carrie, Hollywood offers plenty of
other familiar names this year.
TV’s favourite alien hunters, Mulder and Scully, return for 20th
Century Fox’s as-yet-untitled second X-Files movie, with
David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson reunited with series creator
Chris Carter, who’s directing.
C S Lewis’ sibling heroes are back in Disney’s The
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, with The Lion, the
Witch and the Wardrobe director Andrew Adamson running the
show again and Liam Neeson reprising the voice of talking lion
Aslan.
Daniel Craig has his second outing as 007 in Sony’s
still-untitled James Bond adventure, with Judi Dench returning as
spymaster M and Jeffrey Wright reprising his role as CIA colleague
Felix Leiter.
Agent Maxwell Smart, who started as a Bond spoof on 1960s TV,
comes to the big-screen in the Warner Bros action comedy Get
Smart, with Steve Carell in the title role, Dwayne Johnson as
a superstar operative and Anne Hathaway as Agent 99.
Minus Rachel Weisz, his co-star in the first two Mummy movies,
Brendan Fraser has another go at fighting a resurrected dead guy,
this time an ancient Chinese ruler (Jet Li), in The Mummy: Tomb
of the Dragon Emperor. Frasier also stars in Journey, a 3-D
take on Jules Verne’s sci-fi classic Journey to the Centre of
the Earth.
And Star Trek revisits its roots, with Pine taking over
William Shatner’s role as bold Enterprise Capt James Kirk and
Quinto stepping in as Leonard Nimoy’s Vulcan science officer Spock.
The Paramount film is directed by Lost creator J J
Abrams.
Along with such action and visual-effects spectacles come an
intriguing range of dramatic stories.
Brad Pitt reunites with Babel co-star Blanchett for
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, based on an F Scott
Fitzgerald story about a man who ages backward from old age toward
infancy.
Director Baz Luhrmann reteams with Moulin Rouge star
Nicole Kidman for Australia, co-starring Hugh Jackman in a
tale of a cattle drive down under amid a bombing by Japanese forces
during World War II.
In another World War II saga, Spike Lee directs Miracle at
St Anna, the story of four Americans (Derek Luke, Michael
Ealy, Laz Alonso and Omar Benson Miller) who are part of an
all-black division fighting in Italy at a time when segregation
remained the standard.
“You had the dilemma of these soldiers who really had to battle
on two fronts. They were fighting for their country in a foreign
land, and at the same time, in many parts of the United States,
they were still considered second-class citizens,” Lee said. “This
offers a really rich character study of Negro soldiers going
through that conflict. They want to fight for their country, but
they have to ask: Is this really worth it when I could go back to
Alabama and be lynched?”
Other big 2008 titles: Starship Dave, with Eddie Murphy
playing an entire space craft in a sci-fi comedy about a group of
tiny aliens seeking haven on Earth inside a vessel disguised as a
human; Wall-E, the latest from the animation masters at
Pixar (The Incredibles, Ratatouille), about a
robot left to tend the planet after humanity has left; Speed Racer,
starring Emile Hirsch in a live-action update of the TV cartoon
show, directed by Larry and Andy Wachowski, creators of The
Matrix flicks; The Incredible Hulk, with Edward
Norton the latest incarnation of the scientist with a really angry
alter ego; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,
featuring Daniel Radcliffe and pals in the second-to-last adventure
of the boy wizard; Leatherheads, a 1920s football comedy
directed by and starring George Clooney alongside Renee Zellweger
and John Krasinski; and The Spiderwick Chronicles, a
fantasy based on the children’s books about a mum (Mary-Louise
Parker) and her kids who move into the magical house owned by an
eccentric relation.
Parker was not into fantasy as a child, but Spiderwick
Chronicles allowed her to branch out into the family
genre.
“I did read Narnia, but I was more of a Little
House on the Prairie person. I’m not really a fan of things
flying around, but I always wanted to do a children’s movie, and
this seemed like sort of an atypical fantasy-type thing,” Parker
said. “The children, they weren’t archetypes. They were very unique
and they had some complexity to them. And the mother did, too. She
wasn’t just the perfect mother who was always struggling. She loses
her temper.”
Also coming this year: He’s Just Not That Into You, a
romantic comedy that casts Ben Affleck alongside two Jennifers -
Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Connelly, along with Scarlett
Johansson and Drew Barrymore; Mamma Mia!, featuring Meryl
Streep, Pierce Brosnan and the songs of ABBA in an adaptation of
the stage musical; You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, a comedy
with Adam Sandler as an Israeli commando who fakes his death so he
can become a New York City hairdresser; Step Brothers,
with Will Ferrell and John C Reilly as middle-aged slackers who
suddenly become kin by marriage; Dr Seuss’ Horton Hears a
Who, an animated version of the children’s classic featuring
the voices of Jim Carrey and Steve Carell; Iron Man, with
Robert Downey Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow in a big-screen version of the
comic-book hero; and Madagascar: The Crate Escape, an
animated sequel reteaming the voice cast of Ben Stiller, Chris
Rock, David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett Smith as zoo animals in the
wild.
Pinkett Smith’s husband, Will Smith, returns to the big
box-office date he has owned in the past, starring with Charlize
Theron in the Fourth of July release Hancock, the story of
an alcoholic superhero that he promises will range from crazy
comedy to sober drama to visual spectacle.
AP

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Related posts

Indy, Bond, Trek, Batman: Movies coming in 2008

Sunday, January 27th, 2008

Thanks to the long lead time for big-screen productions, the
2008 film schedule will go on largely uninterrupted despite the
writers strike.
With a solid range of prospects, the 2008 lineup offers plenty
of intriguing questions.
Can Harrison Ford’s Indiana Jones still throw a punch? Is Harry
Potter looking ahead to the senior prom now that he’s in his
next-to-last year at Hogwarts? Will Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto
live long and prosper as the Trek world’s new Kirk and Spock?
And just what have perpetually lovelorn writer Carrie Bradshaw
and her gal pals been up to since Sex and the City went
off the air in 2004?
Sarah Jessica Parker, who reprises the role in New Line Cinema’s
upcoming big-screen adaptation of Sex and the City, is not
at liberty to say.
“I was given a pill by New Line, and it erased my short-term
memory. They took away my script,” said Parker, who rejoins
castmates Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon.
Coyness over plot points is an epidemic this time of year as
stars and filmmakers look ahead to their big releases. In the age
of internet spoilers, everyone wants to keep as much as they can
secret so fans don’t go into the theatre already quoting the
script.
Continuing the story of Bruce Wayne after Batman
Begins, director Christopher Nolan bluntly said “you’ll need
to see the movie” if you want to know what Christian Bale’s
tragedy-torn superhero is up to.
Nolan does offer an answer to the obvious question: Why doesn’t
the latest Batman movie have the word “Batman” in the title?
“In doing a continuation of the story, we didn’t want to give
the impression that it’s just going to be the standard-issue
sequel,” Nolan said of The Dark Knight, due out the US
this northern summer from Warner Bros. “We wanted this to be the
definitive take on who the Dark Knight is and what that represents
and what the meaning of that appellation is.”
The sequel does make good on the tease at the end of Batman
Begins, which set up Bale’s first encounter with his ultimate
nemesis. Heath Ledger plays the Joker, and Nolan promised an
utterly different take from Jack Nicholson’s in 1989’s
Batman.
“The corrupted clown face is built into the icon of the Joker,
but we gave a Francis Bacon spin to it. This corruption, this decay
in the texture of the look itself. It’s grubby. You can almost
imagine what he smells like,” Nolan said.
Fan imaginations have run wild over Paramount’s Indiana
Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the first film
about Ford’s archaeologist-adventurer in 19 years.
Set in 1957, Crystal Skull pits Indy against the Soviets, whose
number includes Cate Blanchett, Ford confirmed. Beyond that, Ford’s
not leaking plot details, including whether new co-star Shia
LaBeouf is Indy’s son or whether Ford shares any romantic moments
with Blanchett.
“They remain true to their characters. There’s a certain tension
between the two, but not a sexual energy,” Ford said cryptically of
his and Blanchett’s characters.
F